Pain In The Darkness
by Demon Hunter Anamae
Summary: A girl in Meridian finds out the identity of the lord of the Industrial Quarter and pays the price
1. Notes

Author's Notes/Ramblings 

Okay, first off this story is property of Demon Hunter Anamae, which is me. To clarify this even further, I state that Ria is (C) by DHA – me – and Sebastian, Meridian, Sarafan, etc. all are (C) by EDIOS. This story has had the unfortunate luck of being stolen twice; character plagiarized once, yadda yadda yadda. I took care of the problem, and to make sure it will never happen again I'm posting the fic back up here.

It use to be up here once before the NC-17 ban, but now is under the R rating. So some people might remember this, others might not.

I don't know what the hell I was actual thinking when I wrote this work, and looking at it I still don't know what the hell I was thinking. I blame it on the weather of 2002, and the fact that college was an ever-pressing stress button at the back of my mind and I needed to write something... I guess _Pain In The Darkness_ could be called vicious sadism, but then this is weak stuff compared to other works. I like putting this in the genre of 'messing with someone's mind over and over again' much better.

So anyways people, read it and if you enjoy it, leave a comment. If you don't like it, then send me an email because I'd like to hear one-on-one what people think. It really makes for good conversation later on down the line. Address is here: demon_hunter_anamae@yahoo.com

And remember, smoke if you got them.

~ Anamae


	2. Chapter One

I knew why I had been summoned to the chambers of Lord Sebastian, the ruler of the Industrial Quarters of Meridian. It was not because I was an upstart worker; I was but had never been told to keep quiet before. It was not because sometimes I did not listen to the foreman and continued to oil the machines when they did not need it anymore; it was not even because sometimes I would enter into a restricted zone and get thrown out by the guards. No, the real reason I had been called for this interview with Sebastian was because I had the unfortunate luck to learn his true nature.

He was a vampire.

I had been coming home to the Lower City late at night after walking my best friend Maria to her house; I had to hurry or else the Sarafan would lock the gates and I would be out on the street for the night. Running quickly down the main avenue, I passed through one Glyph gate and the next all the while waving my pass to the Sarafan so they wouldn't chase me down and make me late. Suddenly a horrible alarm began to blare in the twilight and I froze, thinking that I had set off some sort of system. I didn't want to be delayed coming home, so what I did was quickly duck down a side alley and watched a whole group of heavily armoured Sarafan, being led by one of the Glyph knights, run past. They looked tense, their weapons were drawn and they were moving as quickly as their legs could carry them.

The alarm was still blaring when I cautiously looked both ways on the street from my hiding place; seeing no one in sight I ducked down the road as quickly as my booted feet could carry me towards the subway and home. The gate that leads into the square where the subway was located was wide open. I found it peculiar because there was always some guard posted in front of it, but I raced right through without being challenged.

That was when I saw the scene of carnage in front of me. 

I didn't know if the bodies, which had been horribly ripped into pieces, belonged to the Sarafan patrol from before, but I could make out some bodies that belonged to civilians. Blood was slick on the ground and flesh that had been shredded clung to the trees, waving slightly in the breeze that had suddenly kicked up. My legs nearly buckled out from under me; I grabbed the wall for support as my breathing came in ragged gasps, one gloved hand pressed over my mouth to keep any food from adding to the already disgusting view. My eyes watered and my whole body shook. For a girl of twenty to see what she was seeing in front of her was not easy. I could not help but think of the poor people who would not be coming home tonight. My next thought was who or what had been able to do something like this.

The sound of boots quickly running on the cobblestones made me come out of my trance quickly. I pushed myself to my feet quickly and forced them to move, one in front of the other. I needed to get out of here and I needed to hide. What would happen to me if the killer were still around? There would be no way that I would share this fate. I ducked down another side street, my back pressed up against the wall as I crouched down behind a water barrel, my hands covering my face. From where I was concealed, one could see the whole bloody display but not be seen by anyone else, or so I had thought. The footsteps came ever closer, now accompanied with the sounds of another person close behind. I had shut my eyes and covered my face but for some reason I was compelled to watch what was about to happen in front of me. Bringing my hands down to my lap, I opened my eyes and looked at what was about to happen.

A man in his middle years came out from another side street like the one I was hiding in, his face pale and panicked. Every movement he made was erratic; he looked one way and then the other, his feet moving but not making up their mind on where to go. He suddenly turned around and screamed, falling back onto the cobblestones. A cloaked figure emerged from the shadows and stood over that poor man, who was trying to crawl away on his hands and knees as quickly as possible. The shadowed figure gave a harsh laugh and picked up the man with careless ease, holding him high above his head.

The civilian screamed as the cloaked man cut him somewhere, but the next thing I saw was blood flowing down the man's clothing and the cloaked figure drinking the liquid! I nearly threw everything up right then and there. My breathing had once again become ragged and I felt myself shake all over. A vampire, there was a vampire here in the Lower City. In the silence all I could hear was the nauseating sound of blood being drunk and further off, the alarm from the Sarafan quarters still ringing. The man stopped his struggling and hung limp; the vampire tossed the body aside with more strength that I ever thought possible. I muffled a scream in my hands as one piece of the body, which had broken apart upon impact, rolled towards my hiding spot. I thought I had been quiet, but obviously the Fates were against me. The vampire turned in my direction, still wiping blood from his face.

It was Lord Sebastian of the Industrial Sector, the place where I worked at. I had only seen him once or twice in passing, always looking down at us workers from a high vantage point, but anyone could have noticed him with ease. His cruel gray eyes stared straight back into mine and he took a step towards me, filled with menace. The only thought that was going through my mind was that I was going to die and I wasn't prepared for it. But he stopped suddenly and looked off to his right; I took that moment to rise shakily from my hiding place and stumble down the side street, deeper into the alleys and the twists and turns that came with it. I did not know if I was being followed or not by this creature of the night, but I ran for all I was worth once I was back on the main avenue and headed for the subway. I imagined those wicked claws in my back, tearing at my flesh and Sebastian drinking my blood like he had to that poor man back there. But I was not pursued.

I managed to catch the last train, collapsing in one of the wooden seats in the most crowded compartment that I could find. At that moment I wanted as many people around me as possible. I got home and walked upstairs with a blank expression on my face; my elderly mother called to me but I did not hear her. My mind was still replaying what I had seen, what I had witnessed. I knew that if I went back to work the next day I would most likely die; but if I did not go back then there would be no money to buy my mother the food or medicine she needed to stay alive. I was our only source of income. So I had to go back to work, which I did, and hoped that Lord Sebastian thought that I had been a street urchin or someone who had the unfortunate luck to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. But once again the Fates conspired against me. During the last hour of my shift, moving boxes from one place to another with the other women, two guards approached me.

"You Ria," one asked. All the women working stopped, their eyes looking at me. I was the youngest in the whole group, dressed as they were dressed in the heavy leather aprons of chemists and packers, hair tied back in a simple kerchief, my black dress patched and mended as theirs had been time and time again. In every way I thought I looked similar to them, but now that was obviously proven to be wrong.

"Yes, I am," I answered respectfully. The second guard grabbed onto my forearm with a grip like steel.

"Come with us. You're in trouble, missy." As the other women talked amongst themselves, I was rudely pulled along between the two guards, allowed only to quickly pull off my gloves and apron before being escorted away. I kept my eyes on the ground and tried to hold back the panic that was quickly rising up again. This is the end, I thought. I'll be taken out into a back alley and killed, my body thrown to the dogs. I only hoped that my mother would not cry when she heard this had happened to me, that her heart would not break. Dragged down long halls of iron and across grates where the water that assisted the forges flowed under, I was brought to the main factory and pushed into an elevator, the guards still beside me all the way. One looked at me with an expression of pity as the lift started up, rising to the higher levels. After it rose as high as it would go, I was unceremoniously shoved out in front of them onto a dark landing. To my surprise the men in the lift did not get off with me, but simply pulled the lever and went back down, leaving me alone, but not after telling me to follow the torches along the wall all the way down to the end, then head right after that

I did not know what to do; I was so scared. One side of me wanted to collapse there and begin weeping, but another side of me told me to remain strong and follow the directions. I did and wound up inside this darkened chamber, the massive iron doors closing behind me with a resounding boom. The only thing that really scared me was the sound of a lock clicking behind me; the doors were locked and I was trapped. I only hoped that if Lord Sebastian was here, that he would come out quickly and end my life. In the distance I could hear the whistle from the last shift blow; the workday was over.

"Are you afraid," a cold voice spoke from behind me. I whirled about quickly and looked straight into the face of Sebastian. Up close I could easily see now the paleness of his skin, the bizarre colour in his eyes, his sharp talons and the way he held himself when he walked around me. I lowered my gaze to the floor and tried not to shiver.

"Yes."

"You saw me last night, little girl, when I was feeding. You run quite fast for a human, but I would have followed and killed you had I not been occupied with other, more pressing matters. But it matters not now. You are Ria, correct?"

"Yes Lord Sebastian," I said again, my voice now nothing more than a choked whisper. I felt one of his hands rest heavily on my shoulder, felt him dig his claws through the dress' material and into my skin.

"You know what will happen now, little Ria. You saw me for what I am and for that I must have your silence. And I will have it." His other hand now rested on my other shoulder; I resisted the urge to pull away from him. My shivering still continued and in the silence of the room one could easily hear my breathing. "But I need to know, human; have you told anyone of what you had seen last night, hmm?" I could only shake my head. "Well, that is good. One less thing for me to worry about."

"Please, I will not tell anyone, Lord Sebastian. You have my silence; I swear it. I will not tell one living soul for as long as I live. I swear by the Pillars of Nosgoth."

Sebastian chuckled as he turned me around to face him. His visage was so cruel; his face was narrow and angular, black hair slicked back and eyes looking so vindictive. I noticed for the first time that his ears were pointed. "You and I both know that is not possible, Ria. Humans like to talk and sometimes something can just slip out, even when you do not mean it. I will have your silence, Ria, you know that." He traced one claw down my cheek; this time I did pull away and closed my eyes.

"If you are going to kill me then please do it quickly. I don't want any pain."

"Why would such a beautiful girl as you be worried about such things," he hissed in my ear. Sebastian fingered my short and curly blonde hair and undid the handkerchief that held it in place. "I have plans for you, Ria, and I will act on them. You know that. I have enough strength to bring down ten men at once so what I think you should be worried about is what I am going to do to you right now."

My breath caught in my throat and I snapped my eyes open. Lord Sebastian was closer to me that I would have liked, but the look on his face and the way he gazed at my body suddenly made me grow cold. "No," I begged, "please no. Lord Sebastian, I beg you please do not disgrace me so! Just kill me!"

"You are in no place to beg," came the vampire's reply. 

He grabbed my arms and pinned them to my side, then forcefully dragged me over to a side of the darkened room. He shoved me down and I fell backwards onto a bed; Sebastian crawled over me and grabbed my wrists with one hand, pinning my arms above my head. Lust filled his eyes as he looked over my figure. I tried to kick out at him but he simply pinned me down with his legs; I writhed and tried to move but it was useless. No matter how much I tried I could not break free of this monster. I felt my energy drain away from me. My breathing came in huge heaves; I closed my eyes and turned my face away. I did not want to witness what would happen to me next, I did not want to see Sebastian.

"Stopped fighting already?" I detected a note of wry amusement in his cold voice.

"What would be the point," I choked out. "You are stronger than me, more powerful than I am. Just do what you have to do and kill me." I could not hold back a few tears that began to trickle down my face; my eyes were still closed. I could hear his breathing in the darkness and felt him lean forwards; I was pressed back into the mattress. It was strange, but in those few moments I became more aware of my surroundings than ever before. The sheets were of silk and cool to the touch, the pillows that supported my head were plump and feathery, also covered in silk. The bed creaked slightly in the darkness and I felt Sebastian's breath against my right cheek.

"That is a smart thing to do," Sebastian whispered, "but I expected a little bit more sport from someone as young and vital as you."

"Sorry to disappoint you," I muttered, more tears coming down my cheeks. For a few moments, nothing happened. Then I felt the pressure on my arms fall away as well as on my legs. I could move them again if I wanted to, but I stayed perfectly still. I would not thrash around like a fish out of water; I wanted to die at least with some dignity. I felt Sebastian run his hands along the front of my dress, then suddenly tear at the cloth, the sound incredibly loud in the dark. One of his cold hands pressed against my right breast quite suddenly and gave it a hard squeeze, his claws pricking into my flesh. Sebastian's other hand moved to my left breast and gave it the same rough treatment. He raked his claws over my chest completely, and then splayed his hands over my breasts entirely. I opened one of my eyes slightly to look at him; lust filled his eyes and his mouth was opened slightly. The vampire lowered his face down over my chest and took one of the nipples into his mouth, tongue lashing against the soft flesh. He groped my other breast and in spite of myself I gave a slight moan. I was scared more at that moment than I had ever been in my entire life, but my body did not seem to care. It only responded to the touch of Sebastian, who was now raking both of his hands over my chest and shoulders. He looked at me and gave a lustful smile.

"You might not like this, but then I do not care. Your silence is all I care for and giving myself what I want, Ria." Sebastian raised himself up and ripped off my skirt and underpants at the same time; the coldness in the room that I had not sensed before now made my flesh goose bump and I curled myself up into a ball, ashamed now beyond all belief. My tears now flowed freely, but I did not make a noise. Lord Sebastian moved behind me and I felt his rough and cruel claws on my back. The vampire raked them over my flesh, just enough to break the skin and cause blood to flow, but nothing serious enough that would endanger my life. Suddenly I was rolled over and faced him; Sebastian's face was only few inches from mine. 

 "Crying and not making a sound, Ria? Indeed you are a little different from the other humans I have had the pleasure to torment. Not like this, believe me dear, but all the same…" He moved away from me and pulled the white tunic he wore over his head and cast it onto the ground. Sebastian did the same with his pants where I noticed the unmistakable bulge of his groin. In fact I could not look away from that particular point on his body after had completely undressed and crawled back onto the bed beside me. Already Sebastian was fully aroused and I suppose I made some sort of whimpering sound, for he looked at me and leered. He ran a pale hand over my thigh quickly, seeking to touch my womanhood. "Open yourself to me."

I did not. I was curled up in a fetal position and would not move; indeed I was frozen from the shock of everything that was happening to me. With a low growl Sebastian moved down to my legs and with his strength pulled them open, placing himself between them so I could not close my legs again. I felt one of his cold hands touch my slick opening, moving up and down the flesh with deliberate slowness, watching my reaction.

"I did not know you were on your courses," he whispered in the night. His hand came away slick with my blood and he showed it to me. "Little Ria, you have unknowingly saved yourself this evening. I need not kill you to feed on you now." To my disgust but to Sebastian's apparent delight, he licked the blood from my courses off of his hands, seemingly savouring the flavour. My hands were balled into fists, I was shaking all over as I watched him bow his head between my legs and begin to 'feed' there. The feeling of his tongue against the folds of my womanhood aroused me even if I did not wish to become aroused; he kissed and licked as the sides then nibbled at the small bud where all pleasure came from. I arched my back and gave a small gasp; Sebastian's hands moved along the outside of my thighs, coaxing me to open myself up to him even more. He continued to drink my blood down there and at the same time giving me agonizing pleasure that I did not want. I grasped onto the sheets of the bed as something began to build up inside of me, something that needed to be released. Against everything I had told myself not to do, I began to moan softly and writhe about on the bed as Sebastian's tongue continued its work.

Suddenly such a powerful feeling it was if a dam had broken flooded through me. I gave an ear-piercing shriek and literally arched completely off the bed; I was held back from falling off completely by Sebastian, who had raised his head to look at me. For the next few moments all I could do was bask in this euphoria, this drug that was pounding through my system. Then I came back to myself and realized what I had just done, what Sebastian had just done to me. Blood covered his lips and he wiped it off with the back of his hand while giving me another one of those lust-filled smiles.

"You liked that, did you not? Well Ria, that is all the pleasure you will be getting tonight; now it is my turn." Quicker than I thought possible, Sebastian had pulled my legs up and over his torso and straddled me. He dug his claws into my skin, hands splayed wide and shoved into me roughly. I cried out in pain, the sheer pain. I closed my eyes and turned my head away as Sebastian, this undead creature, pushed himself in and out of me, growling like some beast. His hoarse cries filled the chamber and he moved faster and faster until he was slamming his manhood into me as deeply as he possibly could. I cried out too, not from the pleasure that had filled me only moments before but from the pain. I begged Sebastian to stop but he did not hear me. His claws ran over my breasts and legs; blood fell onto the sheets and all I could do was try and not scream.

Suddenly Sebastian grabbed me and hugged me close as shudders wracked his pale form; with a throaty shout he emptied his seed into me, bringing his mouth down on my shoulder and sinking his fangs into my flesh. 

More blood flowed and he fed off of my life's force. 

The shudders receded but Sebastian still held me close; his breathing was quick and hoarse as he rested his head on my wounded shoulder. Suddenly he fell onto me, bearing me back into the mattress and resting on top of me. In the stillness of the room I could hear my own heart beating fast, as I was sure Sebastian could. His cold eyes, now no longer filled with lust, regarded me with freezing calculation.

"Ria…Ria," he panted, resting his head on my chest. I bit my lip as the scratches and cuts he had given me began to make their presence known. "You will stay here tonight, Ria. Stay here tonight with me. You have satisfied my hunger and my lust and I should thank you for that, little Ria." I hated the way Sebastian was saying my name, like he had already known me for a long time. With a slight groan the vampire pulled himself out of me; a new flash of pain came to me down there. Sebastian chuckled as he lit a candle and looked at the mess that the bed was. The sheets themselves had come undone, in some cases had been torn apart, and my blood was spattered along the linen. I was spread-eagle, no longer caring if I was not hidden from his view. The vampire lord of the Industrial Sector leaned over my face and roughly kissed me on the lips.

"I trust you will be silent now, Ria."

All I could do was nod my head, fresh tears spilling over my face.

"Good. Wait here and I will come back with some bandages for you. I have forgotten how weak and delicate human bodies can be, especially when there is a vampire in the throes of passion nearby." He got off the bed and moved into the darkness, leaving the candle burning on a stand beside me. 

What did I feel? 

What was going through my mind in those brief moments?

Absolutely nothing.

Sebastian returned with surprising quickness; I cannot remember everything that happened, only that I know he did clean my wounds with unnatural tenderness considering the act he had just committed and then dressed me in a large tunic, the cloth coming just past my knees. Then Sebastian carried me into another room, dark like the last, and set me down on a soft bed, pulling the covers over me.

I was still crying the whole time, silent sobs choking in my throat. "Why-why not…kill me to en-ensure I do not t-talk?"

"Because that is no longer needed, Ria. You will be silent now, dear girl. Sleep now. I will be back so…" Sebastian did not finish what he was going to say. My eyelids felt heavier than they had before and I found myself drifting in and out of the waking world. The last thing I remembered was seeing the vampire's face in front of me with an expression that I could not fathom.

Had I known what would have been in store for me come tomorrow and the days after, I would of killed myself. But I did not know, and all I wanted to do was sleep and try to forget what had just happened to me, try and erase from my mind this pain in the darkness.


	3. Chapter Two

I woke up at around noon, I suppose. Really I did not care, for the moment that I came back into the waking world, the events of last night rushed up from my mind. I curled up into a ball and pulled the heavy blankets over me, fresh tears spilling down my cheeks. Pain coursed through my entire body; I did not want to move because the hurt was that great. All I wanted to do was die at that moment. I felt violated beyond all belief, cheapened and demeaned. 

_Like a whore_, a voice inside my head spoke. 

Only a whore had more pride at the moment then I did; they chose their profession and accepted what came with it; I was even less than a whore now.

Why hadn't Sebastian just killed me; why had I been allowed to live? I dimly wondered what was happening in the factory I had worked at. Were they talking about me, asking what had happened to poor little Ria? Perhaps they already thought I was dead. Perhaps my mother was worried and sick beyond all belief, asking anyone who came back from the factory if they had seen her only child.

Pulling the sheets down I looked for the first time in the room that Sebastian had let me sleep in. It was larger than my whole house, the floor darkly carpeted and the walls painted in a deep maroon colour. The door was directly opposite of me, carved from rich dark oak, and to my right was a massive wardrobe and night table along with a full length mirror, with a border carved from rare ivory by the looks of it. To my left was another doorway that I suppose led to the washroom, but I did not want to move off the bed. In fact it was one of the best beds I had slept in; fluffy pillows and soft sheets, and the mattress felt like heaven. 

I ran one hand along the sheets, looking at the bandage on my wrist. That caused me to look at the bandages along my breasts and waist, and then felt the ones placed along my back. Why had Sebastian done that for me?

The door opened and I threw the covers back over me. Sebastian said last night that he would come back but I did not want to see him. I began to shake all over again and turned my head into the pillows to stifle my cries. Soft footsteps came up to the edge of the bed and I felt a hand touch my shoulder and shake me slightly. What I did not hear was the vampire's harsh and almost monotonous voice, but that of a middle aged woman, kind if a bit loud.

"Hey dear, are ye up yet?" I pulled the covers down enough to look at the woman. She was dressed in a simple blue outfit with an apron, her gray hair tied back into a severe bun with a cap over her head. Her face was plump and she smiled at me kindly enough; looking at her I felt almost relaxed in this place. "Ah yes, ye be up. I was wondering for a while if you ever would get up. Here, I have some food for you."

I pulled myself up slightly, biting my lower lip to not cry out with the pain flashing along my midriff. Leaning back against the headboard with the pillows around me, the woman servant turned away for a moment to grab a tray, then turned back around and placed it in front of me. "Lord Sebastian says you must eat, my dear. What is your name?"

"Ria," I spoke softly as I looked at the food in front of me. I hadn't the appetite to eat any of the food after she said that vampire's name. "And yours?"

"Lutee, ma'am. I am to be your servant while you are here, so do not worry about a thing." 

Lutee, I thought silently, do you really know what your employer is, or have you in some way been silenced as I have? 

If I were to tell you right now everything that has happened to me, what would you do? 

No, you look like you do not know what has happened to me, you do not understand a thing. I would give anything to be as ignorantly blissfully as you are.

"Come child, you must eat up. You were lucky that Lord Sebastian found you when he did. Imagine, all those ruffians trying to hurt an innocent child such as yourself." Lutee sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at me with her kindly eyes, eyes that reminded me of my mother. "But he came along and managed to save you from them and brought you here. Poor Ria, you're safe now." She reached over and patted my hand, looking at the bandages.

I nearly choked on the piece of bread I was chewing. So I was right; Lutee was ignorant to what had just happened to me. Sebastian had indeed told her a lie, but she being nothing more than the servant, just nodded her head and accepted it as truth. And why shouldn't she? I suddenly wanted to scream at Lutee, to show her the extent of my wounds, to shriek the horrible truth at her. But I didn't. I didn't because…

_…Because you are ashamed_, the voice whispered inside my head. 

Yes, I was ashamed. Ashamed of myself, ashamed in my inability to talk about what had happened the previous night. All I did was swallow my food, which tasted like ash in my mouth, and looked down at my hands. I would not cry in front of Lutee, even if she were kind and considerate to me. She did not need to know the truth; it would be kinder for her to live a in a lie in which I could no longer live in.

"You're not hungry, Ria?" Lutee pressed a cool hand to my forehead; I flinched at the contact and pulled away quickly. "You not be running a fever but then again with the attack on you last night I can imagine that would wouldn't be." The maid took the tray from me and placed it on a small table nearby. "I will run you a bath. You will feel better after that for as my dear old mother, now long dead, once told me 'A bath always makes you feel better.' Just wait here while I let the water run, Ria."

Lutee's voice faded off into the distance as I withdrew into my own world. As far as I knew Sebastian had kept me alive for some reason, and that he would return most likely come nightfall. I found myself dreading that meeting more than anything else. I had heard myths and folklore of vampires that they slept by day and walked around at night, but it made no sense to me for I remember that Sebastian use to walk around the factories with the Sarafan officials in broad daylight. I shivered, knowing he was right when he told me that he was indeed a powerful vampire. Scenes from last night kept on playing over and over again in my mind until I pressed my hands over my eyes to try and block them out. He had my silence, so why did he not just let me go? Why had he not killed me like those other people on that fateful night? So many questions raced through my confused mind but no answers came up.

"Come on, dear. Help old Lutee out, will ye?" The maid placed one arm around my shoulders and helped me gently out of the bed. I felt dizzy and weak, my legs feeling like they were being used for the first time. I gave a short yelp of pain as Lutee unintentionally touched the shoulder where Sebastian had bitten into me. "Sorry, my dear, I am sorry," she breathed quickly as she helped me over to the washroom. "Those ruffians paid for what they tried to do to you; Lord Sebastian must of ripped right into them and taught them a thing or two." 

With more embarrassment that I had ever truly felt before Lutee helped me out of the tunic, took the bandages off of me and helped me into the bath. The warm water stung my wounds, which had begun to heal over. I was ashamed when Lutee looked at them and tisked, setting off into another tirade of how glad she was that those ruffians had gotten what they deserved. I found myself giving a bitter smile, the water reflecting my face back at me. 

If only you knew the truth, Lutee. If only you knew the truth like I did, of what Lord Sebastian really is.

I bathed quickly, the soap stinging as it touched the cuts and wounds, the bruises not much better off. Once again with the maid's help I climbed out of the bathtub and dried off, then clenched my hands together and tried not to scream out in pain as she redid my bandages. I was given a fresh tunic and led back to bed, where I gratefully collapsed underneath the warm sheets and fell asleep. It was already midday but it felt as if I had been awake for a whole week.

~ ~ ~

Lutee only woke me up twice during the whole day, once to check on me to make sure that I did not have a fever and the other time to feed me. I found a strange comfort in her presence; she reminded me of home where hopefully I would return to soon. Mayhap Sebastian was just keeping me here until my wounds healed, and then he would send me along my way I silently tried to reason with myself. I know that I cried as I slept, for my pillow was soaked when Lutee had come in to check on me. I still felt cheap and demeaned, still felt less than a whore, but at least Lutee did not say anything. I believed that she was blissfully unaware of everything that was happening around her.

So I slept again, rolling in and out of consciousness until something did wake me from the ill dreams I was having.

The chamber was dark and silent; the curtains had been opened slightly and I could see the moon high in the sky. Silver shafts of moonlight spilled across the floor and reached out across the bed, touching me with their pale light. My heart began to pound as I remembered Sebastian's words and my breathing became quick; a slight pain filled my chest. Out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw movement; I turned quickly in the direction of the wardrobe.

Nothing was there.

"Stupid," I whispered to myself. "Calm down Ria, no one's here. No one is-" My words caught in my throat as Sebastian stepped out of the shadows, his pale and unemotional face looking into mine. "No," I moaned, "no, no. Just leave me alone." I pressed my face into the pillows as the tears began to fall again. I felt the vampire sit down beside me, felt his hand on my back. 

I shuddered at his very touch.

"Little Ria," Sebastian hissed in my ear. "I said I would return and I have. I have come back." He took my head in his hands and turned me around so I would look at him. "I always keep my promises, Ria."


	4. Chapter Three

The small candle that Sebastian had lit burned like a miniature sun in the dark room. I tried to turn away from him, from his piercing gaze, but he simply pulled me back and looked at me. I did not like his eyes; one minute they seemed to glow a yellow, then the next they shifted to a gray colour and after that they changed to a light blue. His skin was not as pale as it had been the night before. He had obviously gone out to feed, I thought mechanically, and gave a mental sigh of relief. At least then, I thought, that meant he would not feed off of me tonight…or so I hoped. Sebastian ran a hand through my hair and gave something of a smile to me as I lay shivering, the blankets pulled up around me as much as possible. He was dressed in black pants and a black silk tunic that accented his pale features and high cheekbones.

"Are you cold, Ria? I could start a fire for you or," he leaned closer to me until our faces were only inches apart, "I could lie down beside you and give you warmth." He chuckled at the frightened look that crossed my face, exposing his fangs in the light.

"Why are you here?" I found the nerve to ask the question, even if my voice came out nothing above a whisper. Sebastian looked surprised for only a moment, then leaned forwards and stretched out beside me. I moved as far away as I could from him as possible, but Sebastian's hands clamped down on my wrists and dragged me back over to him until I was pressed right up against his body.

"Why am I here?" He mocked at me. "Because I said I would come back and I have, Ria. Do you want to know what the workers are whispering at the factory about you?" I nodded quickly. Sebastian smiled and leaned closer to me until our foreheads touched. I could not move away from the contact but I felt his skin, which was as cold as a pane of glass on a winter's morning. I shivered again. "The women whisper amongst themselves, saying what has happened to 'poor little Ria' as they put it. They all believe that you are dead after incurring the wrath of the mighty Sarafan. Some have even gone as far to state as a fact that you are dead, Ria. And I have heard from other sources that your mother-"

"My mother," I interrupted the vampire. A sinking feeling entered my stomach. "Oh gods, what does she know? If she hears such news…her heart is weak and she might-"

"Your mother," Sebastian cut in smoothly, "your mother does not know what to consider as the truth. But that does not matter to me, little Ria. Everyone save a few unimportant people believes you to be dead and that is the way it shall be." Sebastian watched the look of dismay on my face impassively, then ran a claw lightly over the curving line of my cheekbone, down my neck to the swell of my breasts. 

"Lutee," I said quickly. "Lutee knows who I am, Sebastian, and she can tell my mother that I am not dead but alive." The vampire looked at me for a few moments and began to laugh, a cold sound in the darkness of the room. He rolled over onto his back and continued to laugh, the amusement apparent in his eyes. I balled my hands into fists and for the first time since being in Sebastian's presence, grew angry with him. The fear I felt for this vampire was gone. I rose up quickly and looked at him. "Why are you laughing? I can tell Lutee everything and she in turn can tell my mother who then would-"

I was thrown back down onto the bed quickly, Sebastian on top of me and the mirth gone from his eyes. "Do I have to silence you again, Ria? I do not think that you would enjoy it, much like the first time," he hissed as he clamped a hand around my shoulder where he had drunk my blood the night before, causing a flash of pain that made me gasp. "And I suspect that you would not enjoy it in the least if Lutee, who after being told everything by you, went to go and see your mother only to find her dead. That's right Ria; I have no compunctions about killing your mother. Remember, as you said I am only a monster, and do you think this monster would care about slaughtering a frail and elderly woman? No. And I would kill Lutee as well if you told her everything. The serving woman has dung for brains, but that is why I have employed her. She asks no questions and does everything that I order her to." Sebastian slid off of me and sat at the edge of the bed. "Indirectly you would be killing her if you truly told her what I was. You know that Ria and it would be Lutee's blood on your hands, not on mine."

The anger that had flared through me only a few moments before left like water pouring from a drain and I looked down at my hands, which were beginning to shake again. "Then why not kill me, Sebastian? You know then that you run the risk of your little secret being known as long as I am alive." The boldness with which I spoke surprised me, but with the way I figured it out, I was already dead. Damned if you do, damned if you don't I thought bitterly. 

"You're quite the dramatic one," he said unconcerned. Sebastian looked at me from the corner of his eyes and smirked. "A hunter needs his sport as well as his comfort, Ria. I will not kill you because I know you will not speak out, even if you say right now that you will in the end you will say nothing."

"So then I am only sport to you."

"Who said that you are not my comfort," he retorted quickly. The puzzlement that crossed my face made Sebastian laugh. "Yes, my comfort. Do not think that I am some unemotional vampire; I possess feelings just as any other being would. I know you might find that hard to believe, little Ria, but that is the truth. Of course, you saw what my temper is like as well as my passion."

"Then," I licked my lips and looked him straight in the eyes, "then I am only a whore to you. Something even less, a cheap and demeaned woman." There, I had said it, the one thing that had been on my mind since that night and had been running through my head all of today. "Somebody to amuse you when you feel like it." Sebastian stood up and silently walked over to the windows, looking out over the city with his arms folded across his chest. For a moment I thought he would become angry and attack me, that my words had such an effect upon him. But he did nothing except turn back to face me, his eyes now seeming to be less…cold.

"I was thinking more along the lines of unwilling lover," Sebastian finally spoke. 

"Lover? What do you mean by that, Sebastian?"

He held out a claw towards me. "Never mind, Ria. Come here." I rose quickly out of the bed and walked over to Sebastian, hopeful that he would leave me faster if I just did what I was told to. The tunic I wore only came down to my mid thigh, but it was better than anything else. Sebastian gazed down at the scars that crossed over my legs, then looked at me. "Show me your wounds."

"You know where they are and how they look," I whispered to him. "You left your mark all over my body."

"All the same, I want to see them and the bandages, Ria. Why should you be so ashamed to show them to me when I have seen your whole body, just as you have seen mine?" The way that Sebastian said it so off-handedly made me blush. But there was truth in his words and what did it matter now to me anyway? I turned my back to him and lifted up the back of the tunic, covering my chest as Sebastian checked the bandages in the candlelight. I did not shudder in revulsion anymore when he did touch me. His hand was light, if cold, and he ran a forefinger along a particularly large cut that made me flinch. The vampire lord looked at the wound on my shoulder for a small time, touching it until I yelped out in pain.

"Sorry," he whispered in my ear. "Let me see your wrists." I gratefully pulled the tunic back over me and turned back around, wrists extended for Sebastian to look at. He undid the bandages quickly, looking at my soft flesh and the marks that he had left there as well, then redid them and looked at me, features almost soft. "I will get you some medicine to help you with the wounds to make sure that you do not scar, little Ria."

The mood in the room had become less hostile and I built up the nerve again to ask a question. "Sebastian, after I am healed will you…will you send me on my way, my silence assured?" I felt a wave of agitation from Sebastian and his face hardened like stone. The almost peaceful mood in the chamber vanished.

"You will heal first above all other things, Ria. And I will be the judge of what is to happen in your near future." My heart fell and I hid my face in the shadows as I went back to the bed and sat down. So I am a prisoner here, I thought dully. A prisoner here and a 'comfort' to Sebastian, the vampire lord of the Industrial Quarter in Meridian. My mother does not know whether I am alive or dead, the people whom I once worked with have given me up as dead and even Lutee cannot help me for she will die, and I do not wish that fate upon her.

I am all alone.

That thought terrified me more than anything else.

"Lutee will take you out tomorrow so you can receive new clothing," Sebastian sat back down beside me. "Do not even think though, for a moment, that you will be able to flee. I will hunt you down no matter where you are and bring you right back here, Ria. My little Ria, my unwilling lover."

"I do not love you Sebastian, and I do not know where you get these ideas. How can I flee when you have coerced me into this position? I know that wherever I go I will be watched and that I cannot tell anyone what I know about you because you will kill them, but not me. You will only silence me again." I was cheeky and knew I was risking his anger by what I said, but then like before, what did I have left to lose?

Sebastian reached out to grasp my hand, but I pulled away from him quickly and threw the covers over me. He did not seem to care. "A vampire can be possessive over many things Ria, and I chose to be possessive over you. You're an intelligent young woman who I believe is given to mind games, much like myself. You can figure out what I am saying after you read between the lines enough." He chuckled and pressed a hand onto my back. "I have to go and attend to business, but as always I will be back. You have the run of my mansion here, so I suggest you take advantage of it. Good night, little Ria."

With that, Sebastian caressed his cold lips across my own, one of his hands pressed to the back of my head so I could not move away. I felt his fangs graze against my lips and I thought I could smell the nauseating stench of blood. Then he was gone with the night; the small flame from the candle sputtered and died out. 

I brushed my lips with the back of my hand, wanting to be rid of Sebastian's touch. But I still felt that kiss, even when I drifted off into sleep.


	5. Chapter Four

Lutee woke me early in the morning, saying that if the day was to be started it would have to begin now. I dressed in a simple dark gown with a veil to cover my face; when Lutee frowned and asked me why I wore such somber clothing, I only shook my head and did not answer. As we left Sebastian's mansion in a carriage, heading for the Upper City, I stared out the window and would not speak to the woman. True she was kind, but as the vampire had told me Lutee did not possess much in the way of intelligence. Her heart was big and it gladdened me. Sebastian's voice kept coming back to me with what he said last night.

I was a prisoner to Sebastian's will; he held all the cards in his hands. I was a prisoner, period. I sadly smiled, knowing that my mother must of given me up for dead now, as well as my friends at the factory. Lutee could not help me because then Sebastian might kill her. Vaguely I wondered if my mother had gone to the Sarafan to ask for assistance. At that moment I was glad the veil covered my face for I did not want Lutee to see me crying. The serving woman kept going on and on about how she would find me the most beautiful dresses once we got to the Upper City; that she would dress me up like a princess. I did not feel like a princess; more like a bird trapped in a gilded cage as I wiped the tears from my eyes. What Lutee said next caused me to look up at her quickly.

 "What did you say?"

"Well dear, just keep this between you and me," Lutee spoke over the noise of the carriage wheels. We passed through the gates of the Industrial Quarter and headed up a long boulevard to the Upper City, a place where all the nobles of Meridian lived. "I believe, and this comes from my own personal experience, that Lord Sebastian is very interested in you Ria. I may be old, but these eyes do not lie and cannot be tricked with what I've seen." Lutee gave a knowing wink and tapped the edge of her nose. I lowered my eyes and looked at my gloved hands; hands that once worked with chemicals and other unguents, now bandaged and shaking.

What were those words that Sebastian had said to me? 

Unwilling lover? 

Lutee saw him looking at me like he favoured me? 

But I am only his 'comfort' as he said…or was it more? 

I did not want to think of such things. It nearly made me sick to think that Sebastian that…that monster was capable of love, of loving me. I gazed back out the window and Lutee's voice faded into the distance again. Sometimes I wish I could be as brain-dead as Lutee. Soon the carriage arrived in the Upper City, a place of exquisite beauty where the Cathedral dominated the landscape. As I stepped out of the black carriage I looked up at the stain glass windows and gave something of a sigh. I use to come here often when I was younger, with my mother to services. But because she had gotten older the trips had become less and less until we had stopped coming altogether. I turned to look at Lutee as she squeezed her frame out of the carriage doors.

"Can we go and see the church quickly? I would like to light a candle."

"It would do ye good for such a thing, Ria. We will go, but then after that right onto the shops. It will be a full day for ye and me both, and I don't want to waste a minute. If only the day had more hours within them." We crossed the cobblestone street, walked past a group of nobles talking about a new tax hike, and entered the beautiful cathedral through the massive doors, carved with scenes of the Sarafan destroying vampires. If I told the 'holy' order about Sebastian, would they kill him?

Once inside the church I looked down the long carpeted aisle to the altar at the end, holding the holy symbol of the Sarafan. I had once prayed with my mother here for protection against evil but what good had that done for me? Nothing. Walking around the edge of the church I made my way over to one of the tiny alcoves where small candles burned and others waited to be lit. A young boy was kneeling in front of one candle, his hands clasped together and murmuring softly. 

"And may my mother's soul rest in peace," his soft voice floated up to me. "And that the vampire that slew her be hunted down and burn within the fires of Hell everlasting." My heart froze as I heard these words and my mind spun. This young boy had already lost his mother at such an age to a vampire. Briefly I wondered if Sebastian had killed the child's parent. How much this young boy and I were alike for this one moment. Having lost both our mothers to a vampire, both unable to do anything about it. Standing and brushing a tear from his eyes with the rough cotton shirt he wore, the young boy walked towards one of the priests to perhaps seek a listening ear for his grief. I envied him at that moment. He had someone to talk to and I, 'little' Ria, did not.

"But I have not lost my mother yet," I spoke softly to myself. "And I can still...if I try..." A plan formed in my head, one that began to scare me. I did not think I had it in me to think such a thought after the warning Sebastian had given me but I had to try. What was the worse that could happen? Death? My mother once said that death came for us all sooner or later. It was just a matter of how you faced it when your time came. 

The little boy had lost his mother, but I had not. And I would go and see my mother, show her that I was not dead and we would flee. We could travel to Freeport or Haven, one of the towns beyond Meridian. Sebastian could not catch me there. Lutee tapping me on the shoulder caused me to jump; I turned a guilty face towards her, imagining for a few moments what might become of her. Then I angrily squashed such thinking. I desired my freedom.

"Have ye lit a candle yet, Ria?" She looked over the small burning wicks as if seeking my own.

"No. Just give me a few moments, please." I took a small taper and lit it, then touched the burning end to another candle. Dropping the taper into the ash box, I closed my eyes and pretended to pray. In truth my eyes were half-closed, watching Lutee. The old woman's gaze was elsewhere; she was looking up at the choir as they practiced their hymns. She thought I would say a quick prayer, but when the serving woman realized that I would be praying for some time, she walked away slowly to another side of the church to let me be. I saw her enter a small confessional booth from the corner of my eyes. 

What sins do you have to admit, Lutee? I wondered. A deep and terrible secret that can be told to no one? Can it even be deeper and darker than my own? Once the door closed behind her, I opened my eyes and dropped my hands down to my side. Quickly I glanced around the church, hoping that Sebastian did not have spies watching me. Fixing the veil that covered my face I moved away from the alcove and back towards the Cathedral doors that led outside. I wanted to run, I wanted to dash out of this place of worship but I controlled myself. It would be stupid to attract attention in such a way.

And then I was on the streets of the Upper City, by myself and without Lutee. I quickly looked back, expecting the servant woman in her old age to could bursting through the doors, screeching and wailing after me like some banshee. Nothing happened. It had been a long time since I had been to the Upper City but I dimly recalled the way to the gondolas that moved between here and the Lower City. Walking along with the crowd of nobles, my head lowered, I attracted no attention and did not call any to myself. Sarafan patrolled the street with hands on the hilt of their swords; workers from the Industrial Quarter were either walking home or towards their shift in the factories. I wished to not run into any of my friends. That would cause a problem and right now I did not need a problem.

Stopping in the middle of a square that was dominated by a statue of the Sarafan Lord I realized that I had been walking for most of the day. I had been so deep in thought that I had not noticed that passing of time. The sun was slowly dipping towards the west; the clock tower overlooking the square rang the hour, proclaiming it to be half past four in the afternoon. Fear gripped my chest and I felt light-weight for a few moments. How could this be? Damn it! Ria you stupid girl, I wanted to scream at myself. You have wasted most of the day and still haven't found the gondola. 

Lutee had surely by now realized what I had done, leaving her and running away. She had most likely gone back to the mansion and reported either to one of Sebastian's underlings or to the Master of the Industrial Quarter himself about my disappearing act. Even now he might be searching for me. I sat down at the base of the statue and quivered in fear as the vampire lord's words once again filled my mind. Would he kill me and Lutee, or would he silence me again? A part of me whispered to give up, to wait here and be found by Sebastian. Another spoke that I might as well continue: Damned if you do, damned if you don't, eh Ria? the voice whispered. Perhaps a few passer-bys looked at me strangely, a young woman clothed in black hunched over herself and trying to not shiver in fear.

"I can still find the gondola, there is time yet." I rubbed my hands together, feeling the bandages through the leather. No, I did not want to be silenced again if I could help it. I stood up, brushed the dirt off of my dress and began to walk down the streets again, this time taking a chance and following one of the Industrial workers, hoping against hope that he was going home and that his home was in the Lower City. My eyes travelled upwards from time to time to the rooftops, vainly hoping to not see the cloaked and armoured figure of Sebastian and ready to run if he appeared. My luck for the worker did not hold; he entered into a pub nearby to most likely drink with a few friends.

I wanted to cry out of sheer frustration. Why had I done what I had done? I tried to ask a few people the way to the gondola but they simply turned their noses up at me and walked on. Nobles, I disgustingly thought. I wished then a vampire would come and kill them, a particularly vicious one at that. The clock rang again; I was further away from it but could still hear the deep tolling...it was now five o'clock. It looked like now I would have to take a chance. Upper City had grown since the last time I had been here, and I could not rely on my memory anymore. A chance; a fleeting hope. I would have to gamble. C'mon Ria, you've gambled before only now it is your life and not money, I mused darkly. Stepping away from the crowded and tree-lined avenue I ventured into a smaller side-street, not as busy as the one I had left behind but still enough people that I could feel safe with.

My feet hit the cobblestone street quickly; the sun's last few rays were hitting the windows of the shops and casting a red glow over the buildings. Red like my blood...I pushed aside that train of thought. I walked down the street just a little faster, moving out of the way of on-coming carriages at the same time glancing for the black one that had carried Lutee and me down here. Was she in one of them, looking for me right now? Or was she already dead after giving the displeasing news to Sebastian? I cut down another side-street, this one smaller than the last. I was in a residential area now; large and imposing doorways facing out towards the street with potted plants framing them. It all looked so quaint and peaceful, these people not knowing the true horrors that went on within Meridian. I envied them more than ever as I walked quickly, nearly running, past their doors. I needed to find the gondola right now. 

Panic was rising up in my throat as the sun finally dropped below the horizon, the light vanishing as the glyph-powered lamps came on. If Sebastian had not been searching for me in the daylight I knew with grim certainty now that he was looking for me. A person, only a vague outline of them in the light, was walking towards me. I ducked down another street and hid behind a large refuse bin as the person moved past me; it was only a noble out for an evening stroll. 

"Calm Ria, be calm. You can't think straight when you're like this. If I can simply hide here tonight, come morning I can find the gondola with no problem." It was the best course of action that I could take. Wandering the streets at night here in the Upper City were not as dangerous as walking alone in the Lower City; if anything I would just run into a Sarafan patrol, play the lost and silly girl and then be escorted to the gondola. So I moved off down the side-street once more, my hands clasped together and me trying to control my anxiety. 

A loud squawk pierced the air above me; I stopped and quickly looked up to see a large crow take flight. The flapping of its wings startled me, but I gave a muffled shriek as another crow, this one with its bowels eviscerated, dropped down on the street beside me. I did not need to know what had killed this crow and what had sent the other flying; I took off running as if I possessed wings of my own. Another shrill caw came from the rooftops. The birds that had been roosting there scattered, the sound of beating wings filling the air. Somebody - I already knew who - dropped to the ground behind me. I screamed as I tried to run faster. Surely someone would hear me and help! But no lights came from within the windows, and no doors opened up. No one offered to aid me, content as they were within their own worlds and untroubled by what went on around them

I had nearly turned the corner when a cold hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me back roughly. At the same time I lost my footing and fell down on my knees on the cobblestones, hard. I cried out in pain. Pulled quickly to my feet I was turned around to see the seething face of Sebastian. His eyes, which now seemed a vivid red, bore down into my own. His grey lips were twisted in a very thin and cruel frown as he exerted a crushing force down on my wrists.

"Trying to escape, Ria? You know what I told you about trying something as stupid as that!" He grabbed me by my hair and yanked me closer to him.

"Please Sebastian, don't-"

"Be quiet," the vampire hissed, a voice now very low and soft. "It seems that once again I will have to discipline you, little Ria. And I am not going to be very kind about it either!" Sebastian quickly swept me up in his arms, holding me in a vise-like grip as he jumped back up to the rooftops of the Upper City. 

At such a height I could see the spire of the Cathedral where this had all begun, where I had made my plan that had failed horribly on me. Sebastian began to run with a speed I did not know vampires had, back over the rooftops of the Upper City, jumping from great heights and over water that made me cry out in fear. Looking into his pale face I shuddered. It was a mask of tightly controlled anger, anger that could be loosened at any moment. As the vampire headed back to the Industrial Quarter his grip on me the whole time did not loosen, nor did it tighten. I could only cry softly as I looked up into the sky, not seeing the moon but a vicious punishment at his hands.


	6. Chapter Five

Sebastian dropped down from one of the taller factory roofs to his mansion's balcony. I screamed as the ground rushed up as us, clutching my veil so it would not fly away. He landed easily enough; for a few moments Sebastian's grip tightened over me as the impact shook my body, then he relaxed. Using the veil to wipe the tears from my eyes I could only wait in fear as Sebastian walked over to the balcony doors, flung them open with one hand, and marched through without closing them behind us. As my eyes adjusted in the darkness, I saw that once again I was in Sebastian's bedchamber. Stalking over to the bed Sebastian dropped me down on the mattress and then turned his back on me. My hands shaking, I pulled my gloves off and looked at the bandages on my hands. How many more would be added after tonight?

I knew what would happen now. It was unavoidable. Curling up into a fetal position, my arms wrapped over my chest and lying on my side, I stared off into space and waited for my punishment. Don't cry out Ria, I thought, and don't beg for anything. Don't beg for mercy, because he will not show it. Strange, the thoughts flying through my mind. Just two nights back I had first been taken by this beast, my body and my mind savagely raped. I had been afraid of what had happened then, and now I was more than fearful. I was terrified. The sound of Sebastian's heavy cape hitting the floor brought me back to the present. 

Taking off his skullcap and running his claws through his black hair, Sebastian gave me a sideways glance. "It was not easy to track you down, I shall have you know. More than anything else it was rather difficult, you staying with the crowds and on the busy avenues. But once you had gone off on your own then it had been easy to reclaim you, Ria. Did you know," Sebastian gave a smirk as his took off his chest plate and dropped it on the carpet with a dull thump, "how close you were to the gondola to the Lower City?"

Now he would gloat above everything else, adding insult to the soon-to-be injuries he would inflict upon my body again. "No. Just how close was I?"

"Oh, if only you had run a little faster," the vampire snickered as he took off his leg guards, "around the corner and then up the plaza square, you would have reached it." Sebastian gave me a little smile. "But then I reached you first and brought you back home." His leg guards followed the chest plate to the ground. In the deep gloom he calmly walked over to a single candlestick and lit it; the brightness hurt my eyes for a few brief moments. Pulling his tunic over his chest, revealing his pale flesh in the candle's light, Sebastian tossed it aside and turned back to me, now clad only in his pants.

"Home? This is not my home," I countered. "This is only a prison for me, even if iron bars and shackles are not on display here." I rolled over onto my other side as to not look at him. "My home is in the Lower City."

I felt the bed dip behind me as Sebastian crawled across the mattress towards me. "It was your home," he corrected me. Sebastian calmly unlaced my boots and dropped them onto the carpeted floor. The vampire then pressed himself up against my back and wrapped his arms around me, caressing my breasts with his hands. I vainly tried to pull away from him but all Sebastian did was draw me right back to him. "I told you what would happen, little Ria, if you did not listen to me. Now receive your punishment and learn from it."

It was no use. No matter what I had told myself beforehand about not crying, refusing to beg...it was all a show of courage that I did not have within me. I began to break down and cry as Sebastian roughly groped me, his cold lips kissing the nape of my neck. "Please don't do this! I promise I won't run away just please don't do this." Tears rolled down my cheeks as I sobbed my heart out, not wanting to go through with this punishment. "You can rip out my eyes, destroy my mind but please do not do this to me!" Sebastian's hands stopped moving over my body; I could feel him pause. Could it be possible then, would he actually listen to me?

"Tear out your eyes? Why would I do such a horrible thing?" he sneered. "They are beautiful to look at, much like the rest of you. And your mind is much too tender a thing to destroy, little Ria." Caressing my face with one claw Sebastian brought the talons into my hair and began to stroke it. His grip on me lightened for a few brief moments and I thought that Sebastian would stop in his punishment. I tried to slither away but with lightning speed the vampire had seized me by my waist and flipped me over to face him, one hand still wrapped up in my short hair. He quickly leaned over and raced a claw over the soles of my feet, enjoying the feeling of my flesh against his own. I cried out as he dug one of his talons into my skin. Sebastian bared his fangs, enjoying the new terror that crossed my face. "You are so beautiful, little Ria. My comfort and my unwilling lover. But you are still wilful and I cannot have you running outside in Meridian like that again. You are much too precious to me." 

Sebastian leaned forwards and kissed me full on the lips. I tried to pull away but with Sebastian holding the back of my head I could do nothing. He forcefully opened my mouth and entwined his tongue with my own. I thought I could taste blood from where his fangs were cutting me...or was it the blood of a previous victim? I gave a strangled moan and flailed my arms around but all the vampire did was grab my hands in his own, once again employing his great strength to bring me under control. When he pulled away I saw once again the lust in his eyes. Greyish-blue eyes trailed over my clothed body with deliberate slowness until finally Sebastian's eyes met my own. I whimpered and twisted my head to the side as he tried to wipe the tears from my cheeks. "I loathe you," my voice was only a mere whisper as I spoke those words, and even then I only half-felt what I said.

"Believe what you will, Ria. Believe what you will." Sebastian ran his hands quickly down my thighs and pulled up my skirt, touching my bare skin underneath. A choked cry came out of me and I closed my eyes to no longer see the monster before me. Sebastian's touch was the same as last time: cold, rough and without feeling. His claws ran over the bandages that covered my legs, and with a few quick tugs, stripped them off of me. Sebastian deliberately touched the wounds that he had made with his talons, eliciting short cries of pain from me.

"Stop it," I shrieked out at him without warning, sitting up quickly and kicking out at him. Catching my leg easily in one hand Sebastian threw me back down onto the bed with subdued strength. He straddled me quickly, both hands pressing up against my shoulders and pinning me to the mattress as Sebastian lorded over me. I sucked the air quickly into my lungs, my chest heaving with the sudden effort I had made in an attempt to break free.

"So you are finally deciding to fight back unlike last time? This is so unlike you, little Ria. I actually enjoy it." I tried to kick out at him once more but Sebastian pinned my legs with his own. Taking his left hand off of my shoulder the sadistic being trailed a sharp claw over my cheekbone and down my neck. The collar of my dress stopped him from going any further but with the barest trace of emotion Sebastian sliced through the cloth with ease. I tried to cover my exposed chest with my hands but he only batted them away with a slight trace of annoyance. Sebastian caught my eyes with his, the craving now more apparent than ever before. But it was not the same when Sebastian had raped me the first time. He had not been in control of his emotions, but now, now he seemed to look at me with a cold lust. "Ria," the lord of the Industrial Quarter whispered my name in the bedchamber with an intimacy that I found revolting.

Releasing me from his embrace Sebastian pulled me up beside him. I was still crying, but now the tears were becoming less and less. When Sebastian tried to take off the top of my dress I resisted. He quickly grabbed my right breast in his hand, taking the nipple between his thumb and forefinger, and twisted cruelly on it. I gave a high-pitched yelp. "Do not even try it Ria. I have not yet even begun my ministrations upon your body." I had no choice but to let Sebastian take the ruined shirt off of me. I did not want any more pain. The bandages that covered my midriff, shoulders, back and my hands were quickly taken off and thrown aside as well. Already I could see that the larger scars were healing over, the ugly bruises that had been a disgusting purple now turning to a light yellow. Now there would be new ones to cover the older ones, I thought dejectedly. Sebastian ran his hands quickly over my arms, down my breasts and over my stomach, scratching my skin the whole time. Pricking over my older wounds the vampire seemed to find a great delight in watching the pain flash across my eyes.

"You could make it so much easier, Ria," he suggested. I knew I could but I would not. With a rush of energy I once again I tried to crawl away from him, backing up from Sebastian until my back pressed up against the headboard. Sebastian easily grabbed me by the ankles and yanked me back towards him, once again running his hands up under my skirt and over my thighs. Grasping the fine material in his fists, Sebastian easily tore it down the middle, then did the same with my undergarment. I was breathing deeply but quickly, grasping the sheets in shaking hands and waiting for him to enter me, to feel the pain once again and the humiliation that came with it.

Sebastian draped himself over me. I could feel his muscles, coiled and tense, like a snake ready to strike at the mouse. Through the material of his pants I could feel his erection pressed up along my outer thigh. Grasping one of my hands in his own Sebastian brought it down to his manhood, rubbing my palm over his crotch. I recoiled from the very touch; sickness washed over me. Sebastian only pressed himself up harder against me, forcing me to touch him.

"What is the matter, Ria? I thought by now you would enjoy it," Sebastian cruelly hissed in my ear. Bringing my right hand up to his lips Sebastian kissed the wounds and licked the ends of my fingers with a tenderness I found alarming. His tongue felt rough, like a cat's. Suddenly a flash of pain raced across my hand and I screamed in the stillness of the room. Sebastian had dug his fangs into my skin, drinking the blood that flowed over my hand. It was in vain, I knew, but I tried to pull away. The fangs ripped at my flesh and caused only more blood to flow, more tears to wet my face. Suddenly the vampire let go and dropped my bleeding and throbbing hand. I couldn't even feel my hand anymore; the pain was too much for my body to register. Grabbing one of the bandages on the bed Sebastian wrapped it over my bloodied hand, tying it tightly and without tenderness.

"Did that hurt, little Ria? How much did it hurt?" he questioned as my blood, looking more black than red, slid down the side of his mouth. Sebastian licked it away languidly. "Your blood is not as sweet as I thought it would be. But maybe if I bite just up here," a cold laugh echoed around the room as the vampire touched the spot on my shoulder where he had originally fed the first time. I tried to shake my head in protest but the world swam in front of me. Too weak to do anything, too weak to move, I the mouse could only wait for the snake to make its move. Growling in his throat Sebastian sucked at the edge of my collarbone, his cold lips giving kisses along my skin. Moaning softly, I was finally beginning to feel the agonizing pain in my right hand. Once again I felt a prickling sensation on my shoulder; Sebastian was drinking more of my blood. The vampire's hands roamed over my body, grabbing my breasts and squeezing them or dropping down to my womanhood and teasing the flesh down there.

"Please stop," I begged, my voice nothing more than a whisper. 

Rising from his feeding, ebony lips now coated in a sheen of red blood, Sebastian gave only a lecherous smile. "But Ria, it is not over yet." His voice spoke of a dark promise. Licking at my wound, cleaning up the last traces of blood, this monster pushed himself off of me and slowly undid the drawstrings of his pants. My eyelids fluttered. Open, close. There was no strength left in my body; I closed my eyes, the lids feeling heavy. Images now came into my mind purely by touch. I felt Sebastian rub his hands, now no longer cold, up my thighs and pull them open. I was too weak to resist like last time.

Still growling, Sebastian grasped me by my shoulders and brought me close to him. With all of the blood I had lost it was if I had no form; my strength had ebbed away from me completely. Sebastian pressed the tip of his manhood up against my opening. I could feel his claws raking along my back, cutting open the old wounds and gouging new ones into my flesh. I did not even have enough spirit to cry out. I gasped as the vampire rammed himself into me, grinding his hips against my own as Sebastian pushed himself as deeply as he could inside of me. Pulling himself out until only the tip of him remained inside, Sebastian crashed into me again roughly. At the same time he dug his claws into me; I could feel warm blood trickle down my back. Sebastian began to roar out loudly as he continued punishing me, drawing lifeblood from my shoulders, licking and sucking it down greedily as the vampire derived his pleasure from me.

Then Sebastian suddenly pulled himself out of me. Silence fell down in the bedchamber as he slowly let go of me, placing me back down gently. "Ria?" His voice, quiet and demanding an answer. "Ria? Speak to me." 

His voice was more insistent now. Sebastian shook me and with great difficultly I opened one eye. The vampire's face was hazy; black spots clouded my vision. "Pain-" I thought for a moment I saw anxiety in Sebastian's emotionless eyes, then I blacked out again. In the darkness I could feel Sebastian getting off the bed, hear his footsteps retreating. I moaned softly as the new wounds became apparent; everything below my waist felt like it was on fire. A door opened...a hand touched my face.

"Ria," I could hear Sebastian speaking to me, his voice sounding far away. Struggling I opened my eyes a crack, watching him through my eyelashes. "Stay with me here. Do not try to move." Move? I wanted to laugh. How could I move? With all the blood I had lost, with the punishment he had inflicted upon me, how was I even able to move. Something cold touched my wounds, making me shiver. "This salve will help with the healing, Ria. Let me apply it to you." 

I could do nothing as Sebastian rubbed the medicine over my form and once again wrapped the inflicted wounds in linen bandages. Picking up my damaged right hand Sebastian peeled off the blood-soaked bandage. "It hurts," I whimpered as the vampire coated my hand with the medicine. "It hurts so much."

"Stop crying," he answered tersely, blinking quickly. Ripping a strip of linen, the sound deafening to my ears, Sebastian gently wound it around the deep puncture wounds. "Your hand will take longer to heal Ria, but it will heal all the same. Just do not try and use it too much." In my weakened state, unable to move, Sebastian moved me over to the right side of the bed and lay down beside me. He drew the covers over both of us, resting my head against his shoulder. "Will you run away now, little Ria?"

With an obvious effort I shook me head. "No." I did not want this punishment to happen to me again. I did not want to feel what I was feeling now even again. Truth was, I was confused by everything that was happening. Maybe I had already lost my mind and I did not know it. I would have cried but there were no tears left within me.

"You are so precious to me, Ria. I do not want to harm you ever again, but you have to start listening to me from now on." Sebastian brushed a strand of my light coloured hair from my eyes and began to massage my scalp.

"What has," I breathed in and out laboriously, "happened to Lutee?"

Sebastian's hand stopped. "Lutee? I did not hurt her...much." He caught the look I was giving him. "Oh, not to worry. She did not receive the punishment you did. Lutee would not be strong enough for even one feeding or-"

"So you'll feed from me now," I gasped out weakly.

"No, little Ria, you misunderstand. Your strength needs to come back to you, so sleep my beloved."

If I had had the strength I would have lashed out at Sebastian once more. Called me his beloved; he was a beast! I only mumbled something to him as the vampire kissed me on the forehead and closed his eyes. Before I drifted off into sleep the last thing I saw was the candle, the wax melted and the wick almost spent. Was I like this candle? Was my life going to end soon; if not then what new horrors would befall me? But I would honour the promise I had made to Sebastian. I would not run away again.


	7. Chapter Six

"You are finally awake. Oh my dear little Ria, I thought the worst for a moment." My eyes opened slowly, weakly. It felt like there was a heavy lead blanket spread over me, and although I struggled to try and throw it off, I couldn't. It pained me to turn my head to the side, to where Sebastian's voice had come from, but I did. I blinked slowly, feeling dumb and mute. The vampire, his face floating eerily before me through the haze of sleep that clouded my eyes, gave me an almost tender look. 

"S-Sebastian?" Closing my eyes for a moment – they felt as heavy as weights – I opened them again, forcing myself to focus on one point. Sebastian's face was only a few fingers width away from my own, still pale as always, his flesh cool, but those ever-changing eyes gazing at me with concern. No, that couldn't be right, I thought quickly as I fixed my eyes to a point on the wall behind Sebastian. Why would this monster feel concern for me? Impossible; all monsters were incapable of feelings and that was why they were monsters. Working saliva into my mouth, running my tongue across lips that felt as dried out as dirt I spoke "What time is it?"

His lips turning upward into the barest traces of a smile filled with relief, glad to hear words come from me; Sebastian brushed a strand of my hair from my face as he answered my question. "A little pass nine in the morning, Ria. Are you alright?"

It was an effort to concentrate on just one voice. I felt that if given the choice, I could still leave my body easily enough and just float away from this all. But my will was much stronger than that, and it kept me moored inside my own body. Sheets were tucked up and over my body, pillows piled behind my head so I could see the room at a slightly elevated angle. I was still in Sebastian's chambers; he had not moved me at all during the night because...

...Because he wanted to make sure that you were all right. That he did not want you to leave his side in case the worse should happen, my conscious whispered to me. Does he look tired to you, Ria? That is because Sebastian did not sleep at all, watching over you the whole night. I shook my head slightly in disagreement; Sebastian was a monster all the same. Weak light streamed through the windows, from the doors leading out onto the balcony from which Sebastian had brought me through last night. If I focused long enough, wrapping my good hand around the covers of the bed and flexing the muscles, I could force myself to see the sky. Shale grey was the colour the clouds bore, heavy with the promise of rain. Outside of the mansion, muted but all the same still heard, was the crack of thunder. The people walking the streets of Meridian, as free as they were, must also be looking up into the sky as I am and seeking cover from the storm. No one liked to get wet unless they could help it. 

The sensation of having my hair brushed brought me back to reality, my thoughts back to my body. Having placed himself up against me, leaning back into the baseboard of the bed, Sebastian ran his talons over my head and asked me once again, gently "Ria, are you alright?"

"I feel weak. Like I want to float away." Speaking slowly but carefully, choosing each of my words deliberately, I finally was able to turn back to Sebastian and look into his eyes. "My hand?" I did not want to see the damage done to my flesh and sink into a depression that I could not pull myself from. There was no pain and very briefly I wondered if I had lost my hand altogether; as frightening as the idea was of losing a part of my body perhaps Sebastian would think that I was no longer attractive. 

Brushing the back of his cold fingers across my face Sebastian gave me a quick peck on the cheek. "After you fell back into sleep I went to get medicine for it. You will not be able to feel the wound for some time, and when you do it will only be a minor pain, nothing as terrible as before. I also placed more of the salve over your body, if you wish to know." Grasping my head between his hands, the sharp nails resting lightly against my flesh; Sebastian's eyes for a few moments appeared to soften. A strand of black hair fell over his left eye, but he did not bother to brush it back into place. The muscles in his throat clenched and relaxed as if he were fighting with himself, about to utter something that he desperately needed to say or else it might hurt him. "Ria, my little Ria," the vampire said in a quiet voice, a voice that I thought was touched with a bit of pain to it. "I am sorry for what I have done to you, truly sorry. Can you find it within you to forgive me?" 

Those words, spoken so simply, pierced my heart. Sebastian, a powerful vampire lord who controlled the lives on many and could send many more to their deaths on a slight whim, was humbling himself before me for the lack of a better word, before a human and asking me to forgive him. For a being that could rend a human limb from limb if the notion took him, Sebastian looked very weak at this moment. I did not want to say anything to him. I wanted to look the other way, or if I had been stronger I would have struck him and screamed at him, how he had made my life nothing but a nightmare. How dare you, I thought bitterly. You cannot just ask me like this and expect to receive an apology.

And then I realized that I had more power over Sebastian at this moment than he had over me. The thought both excited and scared me. So this was what it felt like to lord over someone else. With my own hands I pressed them lightly up against Sebastian's, still moving slowly but getting stronger as the effects of sleep were left behind. I released myself from his grasp and placed his hands in my lap, covered with my own, and looked at him in the eyes. One moment they were a deep blue, the next a vibrant green, and then a colourless grey. Could this monster's emotions be reflected in his eyes? Eyes were said to be the windows to the soul but Sebastian for me seemed to have a lack of one.

"There are some things Sebastian, that no matter what, can never be forgiven." 

To be honest I do not know who was more surprised, the vampire or myself. I couldn't believe that I had actually said those words, that I had brought myself to speak them. Before I had even thought of them they had just come, and done their damage well enough. Lying back on the pillows, I saw true pain flash in Sebastian's eyes that looked to cloud over just as quickly with something else. He withdrew his hands from my own, those ebony lips opened in a tiny 'o' of surprise. The vampire's reaction was not what I had expected. Truthfully I had expected Sebastian to lash out at me or at something else in the bedchamber but all he did was continue to look at me like an animal that had been kicked. 

And I did not at all feel empowered by what I had just done.

I quickly thought of something else to say, but before I could even utter one word Sebastian's face grew cold and lifeless as it always was, devoid of emotion and looking like it belonged to a statue. The spark that had been in his eyes before withdrew completely from me. 

"I see," the vampire lord of the Industrial Quarter hissed at me, turning his back on me and made to get off the bed. Moving with a sense of detachment from the world, my eyes following his every move, Sebastian gathered up his clothing that was strewn on the floor from last night and began to get dressed. He acted as if I was no longer in the room, that he was the only one there. Slamming the clip that held his cloak over his shoulders with unnecessary force Sebastian grabbed his skullcap and stalked to the bedroom door. "I have work to get done," the lord said absently, "but would you like to have stupid Lutee's company, little Ria?"

Shaking my head, not wanting to even have the older woman's company, Sebastian gave me a sneer but nodded all the same. "Very well then. Try and not move too much, Ria. I nearly drained you to the point of death last night, but I stopped before you actually went to the next world. You are still weak."

"I know, Sebastian." I finally had enough courage to simply look at my right hand, considering what I had just said to the vampire lord looking at my hand would have been deemed the simpler of the two acts but it wasn't so. Wrapped up as it was in bandages, I could see that Sebastian had taken his time with my hand, folding the white cloth over the palm loosely for the blood to flow, but tightly enough that the linen would not fall off. My nakedness no longer shamed me in front of Sebastian. As he had once said I had seen him completely as he had seen me, so why bother with false illusions of modesty? There was nothing left to hide. Hideous bruises of yellow and purple spread out over my breasts, down my stomach and across my arms. The spot where Sebastian fed from me on my shoulder was tender but also bandaged. I did not know about my legs, still covered by the sheets, but all the same...

Opening the door to leave Sebastian turned back to give me one of those unreadable expressions which I'm sure was his hallmark, besides his brutality. He looked into my eyes for a few brief moments; his throat constricted. The vampire lord wanted to tell me something but I suppose he was afraid that I would come back with another cutting reply. Looking away he closed the door; faintly I could make out the sounds of his footsteps retreating down the hall. Alone now, I began to think of what would happen next. I had promised Sebastian that I would not leave. As much as I loathed it, I would not break my word to Sebastian. 

The price was too high to pay. 

Yet he had tried to apologize, something that seemed to go against his very nature. And I, I had taken that apology and tossed it back into his face without considering it. No, I had considered it, and I had made my decision. "He deserves it," I muttered darkly to myself, "he deserves my pain. Sebastian gave it to me." But still here I was with him; in our home he had openly spoken to me. This was his dwelling, not mine. He had chosen to make his life here and I had been placed here because he had wanted a lover. Had it been mere convenience or had he been watching me from afar before all of this had begun? Why did such thoughts come to me now?

"I need to leave this room, go elsewhere." A strong gust of wind from outside suddenly rattled the windows, making me jump in the bed. The doors blew open and banged loudly with the curtains billowed outwards as the wind filled them like sails of the boats I had seen down at the wharves. Rising from the bed with as much speed as possible, I grabbed at a robe that was draped over the end of the bed and threw it over my naked body. Stumbling up to the doors, the sound of falling rain reaching my ears from outside, I caught the sight of a black carriage down below near the front of the mansion. 

Unaware of what I was doing I found myself outside on the balcony in the rain, looking down at the carriage that held Sebastian inside and hoping to see his face. My feet quickly became cold from the rainfall and the robe I wore quickly soaked, but I continued to look at the carriage through the veil of rain in the hopes that Sebastian would sense me and look up towards the balcony. A crack of the whip filled the air and the driver, shouting out a command to his team of horses, began to drive the carriage away from the manse. I watched the black carriage leave, heading off into the heart of the Industrial Quarter until it disappeared from my sight, then I went back into the bedroom, closing the doors behind me and locking them tightly.

It looked like it would be raining all day.

~ ~ ~

The mansion was larger than I had first thought. After throwing the wet dress robe onto the floor of Sebastian's chamber, I had wrapped myself in the sheets and quickly opened the door that was adjacent to my own chamber from the vampire's. If I were to live here with Sebastian now because of my promise, then I would argue with him to get rid of that door if he wanted to keep me happy. The wardrobe in my chamber was nearly empty; as I pulled out a blue dress with a collar that came up to my neck with the hem falling just above my feet, I shuddered as the cloth touched my bruised skin.

This wouldn't have happened if you had listened to Sebastian, that annoying voice in my mind piped up. Remember, he gave you a choice.

"Shut up, just shut up." I rubbed my good hand over the bandage on the other, whispering fiercely as I shook. "Like I don't already know that. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't do anything anymore. It is all over, all over for me. I am not as strong as I wish I could be. What would any other woman do in my place?" I sat down on the edge of my bed, looking out the window and at the rain falling. The sky above was no longer grey; mixed with the disgusting chemicals that the factories and steel mills pumped out into the air the heavens had a putrid green colour to them. It made everything more depressing for me. Taking one of the pillows off of the counterpane I held it gently, rocking back and forth slowly while my conscious went on talking.

Maybe, it said, you should just give in Ria.

"I have given in."

Not entirely. You do realize that Sebastian asked for forgiveness, something that vampires, or as you have been taught to believe, never ask for. Ria, now if you are giving him your pain, how does this make you feel? It made you feel rather badly, did it not?

I closed my eyes. "I don't know. But I-" I couldn't finish.

Ah, you hesitate. Know this Ria. You have to live here now; you made a promise and promises have to be kept. But do you really want to live in a place that will always be sad for you? It can change, but only if you were to give in. Sebastian is trying.

"He could be kinder to me. Everything he has done to me so far has been something that a monster would do."

Would a monster bandage your wounds for you, make sure that you slept the night through without dying? He could have killed you Ria, but he did not. He is caring for you now; something that a monster would do? Open yourself to him Ria, as much as that might scare you. The end results could be quite surprising.

"Surprising? Caring for me? Sebastian was a...he could never...Just shut up!" I tossed the pillow away from me. It hit the windows, rebounding off the panes and in turn hit the dressing table, knocking a small vase to the ground. It landed on the carpet with a dull thud but did not break. I rose quickly and walked over to the door, throwing it open and looked down the hall of the mansion that belonged to Sebastian. In all the time that I had been here I had only see the bedchambers; now I would view the rest of my new home and become familiar with it.

My chamber was at the end of a long hall, carpeted in red. The large bay window at the end, heavy curtains pulled back, offered little in the way of light. With the rain hitting the panes, making a sound like pebbles thrown onto the ground, I found it somehow depressing. There was no true view. All that could be seen were the factories and the busy avenues of the Industrial Quarter. The walls of the mansion were paneled in heavy oak, still life paintings hanging from them that looked expensive. For a few moments one painting in particular caught my attention: a woman was facing out towards the sea, her back to me. The sun was setting and her hair, caught by a wind now frozen for all time, billowed out behind her. Loneliness hit me as I stared up at the oil painting and I quickly moved on. One thing I had to admit, Sebastian knew good artwork when he saw it. He must have paid more than enough to have these paintings, something that an ordinary worker in Meridian could never afford. 

Continuing my walk down the hall there were two more doors on either side of me before I came to the staircase. It curved down into the shadows of the first floor and I started down slowly, holding onto the banister just in case I suddenly felt dizzy. I had no intention of tumbling down the stairs and having more bruises. Setting my feet down on the tiled floor I stood at the entrance way, looking at the double doors that when opened led out into the courtyard of the mansion and then into Meridian beyond. Any other time I would have rushed at those doors, thrown them open and run into the rain, but because of a promise I was locked away from the world. Maybe it was for the better. Glancing to my right and through an arching doorway I could see the dark outlines of furniture in the room. Was it a parlour? I was about to go in, to look at this cavernous mansion that seemed to hold no light and no life when a clattering noise to my left made me turn quickly. 

Instantly I regretted it. 

I nearly swooned, grabbing for the railing on the stairs to support myself. But it was Lutee who caught my instead, grabbing me by my right shoulder and quickly setting me back onto my feet. For a woman who was in her middle years, she was very strong.

"There now, miss Ria, ye look so pale child." My eyes cleared, the dizziness left my head, and I was able to finally look at Lutee. The punishment she had been dealt by Sebastian showed, and I let out a choked cry. Lutee was still Lutee; her smile that gave warmth to me, and wise eyes that overflowed with kindness. Her left arm was in a sling, a plaster cast covering her flesh that extended all the way up to her shoulder. But Lutee mistook my cry that I was still feeling weak and, turning me around, hustled me back into the parlour. Setting me down on one of the carved chairs, she quickly went over to the drapes and pulled the heavy cloth back, flooding the room with light. 

"H-how did you hurt your arm, Lutee?" I knew the answer to the question well enough, but all the same I wanted proof from her. She looked at her broken arm for a moment and then at me as if I had asked a silly question, then broke into a smile.

"Oh, silly me. I was running back here after ye vanished to tell Lord Sebastian. I fell down on the steps outside and broke it. Me old bones will knit back up well enough, miss Ria, have no worries about that." Lutee spoke in a high voice like the story was nothing, that there was no problem. But she never once looked me in the eyes as she told the tale, and I wanted to pound my fist down on the arm of the chair in frustration. I had caused this to her, something that she did not deserve. Lutee went over to the fireplace on the opposite wall, placing a log clumsily into the hearth. She brushed me away when I offered help, saying she did not want to have me fainting again. Lighting a match, Lutee tossed it onto the log and waited for it to catch fire.

 "Well, ye should have seen Lord Sebastian when I found and told him," she continued in a cheery voice as the warmth from the flames dispelled the chill in the parlour. "A blooming hurricane he was, saying that you could be injured and worse in the Upper City. He tore out of here faster than anything I have ever seen in me whole life, and I do say the person who received his anger," she shook her head, "I pity the poor soul."

At this little comment I started to laugh; of all things mirth got to me with Lutee's simple words. My whole body hurt as my shoulders shook and I wiped a tear from my eye as the maid gave me a strange look. "I do not doubt you on that, Lutee. I have no doubt with that."

"And I can see ye met your own troubles." She took my injured hand gently in her own; her chubby fingers were warm and calloused, but it reminded me of my mother and how she use to look over my cuts when I was little. Angrily I clamped down on such memories and tried not to let them rise back up again. "If I may ask, miss Ria, how in God's name did this happen to someone like ye?"

I leaned forwards and looked at the flames in the fireplace, my hair hiding my eyes. "I made someone very angry, Lutee, very angry."

"Did you-were you injured elsewhere child?" Her voice was hesitant and soft, but I knew what she meant by those words. Should I tell her? What good would it do? A companion in my pain? Would that do any good for me, or would it bring me down even more?

"My body was injured, Lutee, and I-I was taken advantage of," my voice became thick and caught in my throat; tears sprang up. Lutee grasped me gently by my shoulders and turned me to look at her. She brushed them away as they fell and wrapped her good arm around me, holding me close to her bosom while rocking back and forth. New sobs and tears quickly came from me; letting off this burden that had been weighing me down felt so good, and yet at the same time the true weight in my soul I would never be able to tell her. "I don't know Lutee-I hate myself."

Lutee made soothing noises as she leaned her head against my own. "Hush now, Ria, hush. For someone so young you have all the troubles in this world on ye small shoulders. I am here for ye, and Lord Sebastian is as well. When I saw him this morning he was not as tense as he usually is. He seemed a bit apart, drifted on his own as some people do when they realize something they do not like, but all the same he was glad he found you, me girl. We are all here for you, Ria. Cry and let it out. You are safe here. Do not hate yourself for something you had no control over."

Safe here? Maybe I was and maybe I wasn't. Would I do what had been running around in my head all this time; let go and just open myself up to Sebastian? After the way I cut into him this very morning my chances did not look very good. But Lutee said he was here for me. It was good to get support from Lutee, to be wrapped in her arms and cry, to pour out my heart to her and know that she was listening, that she cared. Could it be this way with Sebastian? Did he – could he – have another side to him? If I opened myself to him, accepted his apology, would he in turn open to me? Would I be able to see more to him that he was perhaps unwilling to show to everyone else? If this was to be my home now, then I truly should learn more of Sebastian. Unwilling lover I was to him, but he loved me all the same in his way.

I did not want to think these questions anymore. At the moment I was merely content to have Lutee hold me and let me cry.

~ ~ ~

I spent the rest of the day with Lutee. Despite her broken arm, she moved around as if it was nothing, which led me to believe that she really would heal faster than most people did. Lutee, as I had previously thought, was not the only servant in Sebastian's household, just the only one I had seen so far. She was the head servant in the household; first because her age dictated it so and secondly because of her experience. There were two butlers, from my count about five young maids who did not talk to anyone, and three serving men who were as silent as ghosts. Lutee had made another serving girl go to the Upper City to collect the fabrics that were needed for my dresses; it was early evening when she laid the cloth out in front of me in one of the many drawing rooms, took my measurements and began to make designs for my new clothing.

By the time the clock in the sitting room had chimed the hour, Lutee was packing away the material with one of the silent maids and I was ready to sleep the night away on one of the couches. I kept on glancing at the main door from my vantage point, finding myself secretly hoping that any moment Sebastian might come back from wherever he had gone. Catching myself thinking this, I immediately wanted to slap myself across the face. Was I now actually giving in, as my conscious had said? I guess perhaps I was, if I was at least wondering where Sebastian was. Unless he was off feeding on some poor person that had crossed his path, like those people on that fateful night...

I went off to bed with Lutee's help, not bothering to hide the fact that I was tired. She changed and dressed my bandage again with my help. It was silly, actually. Both of us with only one good hand each; yet together we were able to apply the linen. Strange, but I missed having Sebastian dress my wounds. He had done it before and I found that his touch, at least to this respect, was soothing to me. Lutee's touch was kind, but she could be clumsy all the same. Kissing me on the forehead and brushing my hair back, acting like a mother to me, Lutee left my room and closed the door behind her. In the darkness I could hear the rain, which had not let up all day. Dimly I asked myself if Sebastian would come back tonight, and if he did, would he want to see me? All those thoughts went nowhere because when I woke up the next morning and asked one of the maids where Lord Sebastian was, she shrugged her thin shoulders and said she did not know. 

It was then that I began to question if those harsh words I had said to Sebastian had done worse to him than I had thought. I still did not feel powerful or just for saying what I did to him; more than anything else I wanted to scream and throw something, to hear something shatter and break to let these emotions out of me. My stomach rolled and I felt queasy; having breakfast did not help me in anyway. Lutee had said that if the rain were to let up then she would have taken me out to see the gardens in the Upper City, but since the weather had not improved from yesterday, it was another day spent in the drawing room. I stood by the window that looked out over the courtyard, watching the raindrops make the cobblestones slick and fill the streets with puddles of water. If one of the industrial workers, who I could see moving beyond the gates the ringed the mansion, was not quick to move out of the way of one of the new steam-powered and horseless carriages, they would be splashed by the contraptions. I leaned my head against the cool windowpane and sighed. I was looking for Sebastian, waiting for him. I wanted to talk to him, building up my resolve. What would I say to him I didn't know, but I just wish he would come back.

"Lutee, did Lord Sebastian say where he was going yesterday?" I slowly curled my right hand into a fist and then relaxed the muscles. The wound was closing up easily with no sign of infection, and there was almost no pain now. "Did he say when he would be back?" My eyes followed one small raindrop to the ground, then another and another until they all seemed to meld together as one.

By gaslight Lutee had been pinning something to a small cushion, a ball of yarn beside her. She looked up from her work and shook her head. "No, the master did not tell me where he went or when he would return. Sometimes he has work that can take him out for a week at a time. He works for the Sarafan, mind ye, and they are the type who can-"

Outside I heard the clatter of horses' hooves on the cobblestones, the sounds of a carriage coming to a halt. Lutee's voice died away as she quickly stood, placing her work down on the couch and coming over to the window beside me. "Well, I was wrong, my dear. Lord Sebastian has come back home." My stomach churned and I would have been sick if I had eaten anything beforehand. My heart began to beat faster, and anxiety washed over me that was holding me tight. I was not afraid anymore but now I was not so sure if I wanted to meet Sebastian face-to-face so soon. 

You cannot run anymore, Ria. Sooner is better than later to face a problem, that annoying voice nagged in the back of my mind.

The servants quickly assembled to greet their master back home. Before one of the butlers could open the door for the lord of the mansion Sebastian had from the other side, with enough force that nearly ripped the hinges off. I heard Lutee gasp softly beside me as the butler was nearly ploughed down by Sebastian; the man barely got out of the way in time. The servants bid Sebastian a quiet welcome back to his home, but he acted like they were not even there. He marched pass the other butler, tossing him his cloak in an off-handed manner and stalked up the steps as he took off his skullcap with barely controlled fury. I could see that it was still raining outside as the serving men tried to close the door; they had to give up and one went off to get tools to repair the damage.

"Oh dear," Lutee said as she watched Sebastian disappear onto the second floor, "the lord is in one of his moods again. I suggest that you stay away, Ria, while he is like this."

A large part of me wanted to agree with Lutee; let Sebastian come to me instead of me going to him. No, that would do no good. Turning to Lutee I motioned to her yarn and cushion. "Go back to work then, Lutee, and I will see what the matter with Lord Sebastian is."

"Ria, it would be-"

"Lutee, please," I begged her. "Just leave me be with him. Nothing bad will happen." Or so I hoped, I finished mentally. Sebastian could change his moods swiftly. Before Lutee could say anything else I had walked out of the drawing room and up the stairs, quickly moving down the hall and to Sebastian's chambers before my strength left me. I might not get another chance at this. I did not know what I was doing; that was typical of me. I acted first and then thought things over later. Well this time it would be different. I was not going to be scared by the vampire. 

Raising my good hand, licking my dry lips and trying to bring my heart back to normal; I knocked softly on the door. When there was no reply from within I turned the knob and pushed the door open slightly. "Sebastian?" I whispered hesitantly as I peered in. "Sebastian, are you in here?" 

A stupid question. 

He was at the far end of the bedroom, leaning over a large desk that held papers and unrolled maps on its surface. The vampire's back was to me and I visibly saw him hunch over even further when he heard my voice. The shadows cast over the room by the candles he had lit gave a threatening presence to me. Opening the door wide enough for me to slid through; I closed it behind me and waited for him to speak, not moving from where I stood. The hostility coming from him filled the air and I quickly said the first thing that came to my mind. "Welcome home, Sebastian."

A slight turn, a quick glance from him, then once again he went back to viewing his papers. The only noise was the rain hitting the glass; outside it was coming down in torrents. For a horrible moment I imagined Sebastian would say nothing, do nothing, and once again act like I was not even here. Then, in a dismissing tone that he would have given to one of his factory workers, Sebastian said "I never expected to hear that from you, Ria."

"What do you mean by that?" I walked over to his side, looking at his cold face.

"Welcome home. You used the word 'home' in one of your sentences," he spoke tersely, not looking at me.

"You said that this was my home now," I answered quietly, acting as if I did not hear the edge in his voice. I would not argue with Sebastian. The tension needed to be broken. I looked down at my injured hand and extended it towards him. "My bandage came loose. Can you tighten it for me?"

He turned around, those eyes narrowing at me. Looking at my hand and giving a contemplative look, Sebastian's hands quickly undid the cloth and gave himself a few moments to look over my wound, then redid the dressing. "You should learn to do it by yourself, little Ria."

"I suppose, but you do a better job than I could, Sebastian." My gaze turned to the maps and letters he was looking at. Sebastian quickly interposed himself between the objects of my attention and myself. "What are those all about? Is that the reason why you were gone overnight and why you are angry?"

Sebastian folded his arms over his chest and frowned. "Why would it matter to you where I have been? It does not concern you in the slightest of my work and you would not even begin to understand what I do. And when did it become your concern as to why I am angry? Oh my, did you finally realize that the monster possesses some feelings to him, Ria?"

The words stung me, just as the words I had said to Sebastian must have stung him. "I was just asking, Sebastian. Can I just ask?" One of the candles gutted out of existence suddenly, the flame snuffed out in the melted wax with the smoke curling upwards towards the ceiling.

"Why should you care, Ria? You did not seem to care when I gave you my apology," the vampire lord hissed at me. His muscles seemed to coil up like a snake; those eyes that suddenly went yellow in the dim light and looked at me like a hunter would look at his prey. I sat myself down on a divan quickly, my gaze riveted to the carpeted floor. Now or never Ria, I reminded myself. Now or never.

"I came here to talk to you about that, Sebastian. For the past day I-I was thinking over your apology and I spoke hastily, too quickly in turn. I just wanted to say to you that..." My voice faltered. I could feel Sebastian's eyes on me, boring holes through my flesh. I was losing my confidence and everything else. "This can change, Sebastian. If I am to live here with you, should we at least try and talk to one another if we will be seeing each other every day? Most people do that sort of thing, Sebastian."

The vampire gave a cold and mirthless chuckle. "But we are not like most people, are we Ria?" he countered, flashing his fangs in the candlelight. "Human and vampire, one with a cold but beating heart and another with one dead but perhaps seeking warmth. Unwilling lover and one willing enough. Someone who gives a rare apology and another who throws it back." He leaned up against the desk. Not like most people, little Ria."

"Things can change, Sebastian."

"Really," he mocked at me. "And how do you think that will happen?"

Giving a sigh I answered him. "By talking."

Sebastian leaned his head back and began to chuckle at my statement. Giving me a glance with eyes that were filled with a cynical mirth, the vampire gave a harsh laugh that echoed around his chamber. It was a cry that sent a shiver down my spine. "By talking, you say?" Sebastian wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "So you want to also know then why I am in such a foul state?" He waited for me to nod, and when I did he continued. "It is because of many things, little Ria, things that I would not trouble your mind with. But," Sebastian's voice turned into a whisper, "I bring back bad news for you all the same. And it does me no good that sooner or later I will have to speak it to you."

"What news, Sebastian?"

"My little Ria," the lord of the Industrial Quarter's eyes seemed to mesmerize me. "Your mother is dead."


	8. Chapter Seven

The world seemed to spin and twist for a few moments in my mind, time slowing to a crawl and every object in my view becoming nothing more than a blur. Bile rose by its own accord into my throat and I felt like gagging. No, I was gagging. Choking not only on this horrible taste but also on the lie Sebastian had said. Covering my mouth I felt myself stumble backwards, collapsing to my knees on the floor. My body shuddered violently as the nausea overtook me, leaving my weak and terribly sore, a bitter aftertaste in my mouth. When the carpet's design floated back into view I gasped for breath; I could see every fibre at this moment, every thread.

"You're lying," I whispered. "You are lying!" I slowly pushed myself back to my feet, staring at Sebastian and willing him to admit that what his said was a joke, no matter how tasteless it might be. "You would never say anything like that. Stop making these horrible lies!"

"Do I look like the type to lie, Ria? Would I want to cause you more pain and agony?"

My hands curled into fists. I wanted to pound them against his armoured chest, shriek in his face to take back the lie. My mother could not be dead; she was not dead! Sebastian would want to harm me since I threw his apology back at him, but this was too vindictive, even for him. No, was it? Looking into those ever changing eyes to see the dishonesty underneath his statement I once again felt my stomach heave. It was no lie. It was the truth. Sebastian had done nothing more than give me the truth and I, I had hoped for it to be false. 

Deep down I had known it to be a fact but I never wanted to come to terms with it. My mother had been ill and close to death, yet as every child supposes, the parent is invincible. They are a rock against the storm, someone who can never crumble. How cruel reality can be when it hits home. What had it been like for my mother when she had passed? Had she been hoping that she would be reunited with me in the next life as she had surely thought I had been taken too early from this one? Had it been painful for? Was anyone there to be with her in the final hours, or had she died alone and frightened? What had she been thinking?

"How did - did she die, Sebastian? You must know. Please tell me so I can have some peace of mind with that small comfort. If you would be kind enough to give it to me." I was practically begging Sebastian, hoping that his heart would soften and he would tell me. I quickly turned to one of the few chairs in the room to sit down in. Bracing myself for his account, I was surprised with myself that no tears came. I had cried myself dry over the past week and could not work up one tear for the woman who had devoted her whole life to me. Was I an ungrateful child for this?

"Peace of mind," the vampire mused. "How everyone wishes for such a thing and not so many receive it." Sebastian's voice had taken on a haughty tone at first, then had softened by the time he had finished speaking. I felt his hand on my shoulder; giving me a semblance of comfort I suppose. His flesh was cold, cold as the grave that my mother must be in by now. "She died in her sleep, with her friends around her Ria. As one of my servants overheard from the neighbours, it was peaceful and without pain. Up until the end they said that your mother believed you to not be dead, but alive somewhere." Placing his forefinger under my chin the vampire lifted my face up to meet his gaze. "Does this give you the peace of mind that you seek, little Ria?"

Slowly I nodded. The nausea was gone and the room no longer spun in my vision. There was no grief inside of me, none that I could feel, and while my heart still beat it seemed to be following a rhythm unlike anything before. I did feel like an ungrateful child, one that I could not cry over the death of my mother, but perhaps later the tears would come unbidden. I rose from the chair and quickly looked into Sebastian's eyes, trying to give a small smile and failing at that. "Thank you Sebastian, for telling me this."

He gave a slight nod but said nothing. Gathering my skirts around me I turned to leave, catching the reflection of Sebastian in the mirror on the opposite wall. The vampire was looking at me with something akin to pity; his shoulders drooped as if weighted down by more than just the armour he wore. And he also seemed to be thinking something, debating in his mind. Opening the door and stepping out into the dark hall, a brief flash of lightning brought everything into bleak view. The paintings seemed white, the floor and walls black and the shadows twisted souls who would know no rest.

It was then that the tears came.

~ ~ ~

The world was washed out; vibrant greens were a pale grey, deep blues and fiery reds did not register in my mind. Lying on my side in my bed, holding a pillow in my arms and rocking back and forth I looked at the wall and saw nothing. My eyes burned from all my crying; the lids puffy and my cheeks wet. It had been like this for the past two days, filled with sorrow over the knowledge of my mother. I tried to call up memories of my mother and of my life with her. 

She had been everything in my life. My father or so she had told me when I was little, had one day gone off in his fishing boat and had never returned. Lost at sea, she sighed mournfully. Images of that powerful woman came slowly; I recalled her sitting at the table in the small kitchen shelling peas, hanging the clothing on the cloth line while conversing good-naturedly with the neighbours. And whenever I came home from work, up until she had fallen ill, she was always there to greet me and wrap her arms around me. Children long for the embrace of their parents, the comfort and security that they received from that one act did wonders.

But instead it was Sebastian who wrapped his arms around me.

Damn him and all vampires for being so quiet. He must have opened the door and come into my bedchamber like a thief in the night. He had removed his armour or else I would have heard him with the telltale sounds of metal hitting metal. I was silently weeping when I felt a hand brush over my shoulder, and then the weight of an arm draped over my waist. Snaking his other arm around Sebastian interlocked his fingers, making it impossible for me to move away as he curled up behind me. "How long have you been crying, little Ria," he questioned. Sebastian pressed his lips up against the back of my head.

"Too long to remember, Sebastian." Digging my fingers deeper into the pillow, feeling the feathers underneath the cloth bunch up, I closed my eyes and tried to think of nothing. Tranquillity filled the chamber. It was not the type of silence that was awkward, that seemed ready to shatter at any moment. This silence was peaceful, almost content. With Sebastian holding me, for once not with any desire or lust coursing through his body, I found I could enjoy his touch. The vampire ran a hand gently over my abdomen and kissed me lightly on my earlobe, and I could feel the strain that the grief had brought on me drain away. No, it was still there but not as strongly as before.

In the quiet, I had time to think. Was this the way it was going to be now, until I died? Sebastian would keep me here and I would never be able to visit my mother's grave. How stupid of me; I tried to lighten the mood of my beautiful prison only to have misery and grief come flooding in. It appeared that this life of mine was nothing more than grief. Self-pity was not something I enjoyed, but how could no one sink to this? Perhaps I would go insane.

"I release you from your promise, Ria."

Sebastian spoke the words quickly, sharply. I felt his hands clench against my stomach as he finished, the words filling my ears. I could not believe them. Twisting my head around slightly to try and catch his gaze the vampire looked off in the other direction. For a few moments I was elated and then the emotion left me. Sebastian, I thought, would never say anything like that. A promise was a promise and he would hold me to it. "Sebastian-"

Releasing me from his grasp Sebastian rolled over on top of me. I cringed, ready to feel those talons against my face, but all Sebastian did was look at me quietly. "Like I said Ria," he whispered to me, those ebony lips filling my vision, "I release you from your promise. Go to your mother's grave; make peace with her and yourself. Place flowers next to her marker."

"But, but you said that-"

"'But, but you said that-'. Please Ria," Sebastian mocked at me, "you continue like this and there will be nothing left of you. Withering away to absolutely nothing, my precious Ria. I say you are free, and so you are free. You have been craving the freedom that I have taken from you and now you do not want it?" Sebastian rolled off of me and onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. "At times I wonder what you think."

Quickly I sat up, holding the pillow in my arms with a frantic look on my face. "No I want to - what I mean is that...I always wanted to be free but-" I trailed off, unable to finish my sentence. If I did it would be just one more cutting blow to the vampire lord, one more dagger thrown at him. It must have greatly hurt Sebastian to say something like this to me, although I do not know how I came to that conclusion in my mind. It just came to me. There was nothing that I could say to thank him for this gift. It was one of those moments where nothing had to be said. An indescribable joy filled me, something that I suppose lovemaking would be like. For a moment I was ready to wake up, believing that this was all some dream that had been created from my grief. But a quick pinch made me realize otherwise. I could leave. I could finally leave this place, be free of all this pain, this darkness that the monster beside me had caused.

"My carriage will take you to the Lower City."

"I would rather walk, Sebastian. I know my way home from the Industrial Quarter well enough," I answered quickly. "Before I came here. I thank you for the offer anyways."

Sebastian gave a cynical smile. "Your first true walk of freedom; that is what you want is it not, Ria?" He spread his arms dramatically and leaned his head back. "To walk away unchallenged from the monster's home."

A quick smile, rare to see since I had come here, flashed across my face. I tried to hide it before Sebastian saw it, but he did. Getting up from the bed, the Lord of the Industrial Quarter smoothed his black hair that had become rumpled and fixed his tunic. I watched Sebastian intently as he did these simple motions, knowing that this would be the last time I would ever see him.

"Are you afraid?"

The vampire turned to look at me with a puzzled face. "What do you mean?"

I wiped the last of the tears from my cheeks. "That I would tell someone what you really are, your true nature?" Maybe it was not such a good idea to bring up that little point, I started. Sebastian could suddenly snatch back what he had said and lock me back up in this prison. Stupid Ria, I cursed myself, why did you have to bring up that little bit of logic?

Sebastian looked out the window but did not see the factories looming on the horizon. "I trust that you will hold your peace, Ria. I have already told Lutee that you are to be going away for a while, that your memory has come back to you. The woman is insufferable, beginning to cry like she was a child. Already she is packing your possessions."

"But I have none, Sebastian."

He gave a disdainful sneer. "Would I send you out with nothing? Do not think so little of me, Ria. I told you once that my house is now yours and everything within. So if you have anything you wish to take with you, make sure that Lutee packs it." Sebastian cocked a pointed ear towards the drawing room, from where I could hear sniffles and a choked sob. It was followed in turn by something heavy hitting the floor. "Dumb woman," the vampire hissed. "Why does she have to be so melodramatic, crying over your leaving? I wonder, though, if you will cry over my absence once you have left Ria?"

Sebastian turned to face me as he said those few words, waiting for my immediate reaction. I stared back at him, not uttering a word. Another clatter came from the adjoining chamber. Giving an exaggerated sigh, Sebastian walked over to the door to reprimand Lutee. "Say your good byes then, Ria, and go see your mother's grave." He pulled the door open with more force that was needed; before it closed behind Sebastian I saw Lutee in the gap. She had been folding dresses into a small suitcase, a sombre look plastered to her features. The door closed and Lutee was gone from my view.

And soon to be gone from my life forever.

Rising from the bed and fixing my dress, smoothing out the wrinkles and straightening the collar, I moved towards the window. Pressing my forehead up against the glass panes, my fingertips resting lightly on the cool surface, I viewed Meridian with new eyes. Once I had thought when I was young that the whole city was a prison, the high walls surrounding Meridian the bars that held a cage together. But now, after living here, I knew that once I walked the streets of this city once more I would no longer be viewing it as a prison for thousands of people. 

Life had changed that view for me.

I looked at my bandaged hand. Unwrapping the muslin cloth and letting it flutter to the ground, I saw that the marks on my flesh had finally vanished. There was no scarring, and besides the flesh just looking like a newborn's, there was no way anyone would have known that a vampire had once bitten into my flesh. It was the same with the bite marks along my neck and shoulder. Thankfully they had vanished as well, for it would be one less reminder of my time here.

~ ~ ~

The streets of the Industrial Quarter were as busy as always. I could hear the sheer noise just beyond the mansion's walls; the new horseless carriages blaring their horns, the steam whistles from the factories shrilly calling the hours, people walking along the street, talking; even smell the food from the vendors stalls. Once I hated all of this noise but as I walked away from the mansion, holding a single black suitcase in my two hands, I was looking forwards to immersing myself in this sea of commotion. I was dressed modestly in a black gown that covered everything by my hands and feet, a delicate black veil covering my face.

Turning around I waved back to Lutee, who was standing in the doorway of the mansion and smiling at me. Sebastian had fed her another story and she had taken it like a hungry dog. My 'memory' having returned to me, Sebastian having found my family, Lutee was overjoyed that I would be reunited with them. Crying on my shoulder for a moment or two the old woman had confided in me that she looked at me like I had been one of her own children. I would have liked to think of her as a mother to me - she reminded me of my own in so many ways - but some things are better left unsaid. 

My eye caught movement above me; one of the heavy drapes on the second floor had been pulled back from the window so someone could look down at my departure. Without looking up I knew it was Sebastian. Turning away from the mansion for the last time so that my back would be the last thing that the vampire would see, I began to walk away. At first my stride was slow, perhaps even hesitant, but soon I began to walk faster. Already I could taste my freedom. Soon I would be gone from the Industrial Quarter, away from this section of Meridian, leaving Sebastian behind. A part of me wanted to whirl around and look up at that window where he stood, to look at him one last time.

Squashing such thoughts and knowing that it would look weak to do such a thing, I passed beyond the gates of the mansion, saying a fond farewell to the servant who opened up the prison door for me, and walked out into the streets of Meridian. Soon the crowd swallowed me up; becoming just another face like so many others, but it wasn't until after I had left the Industrial Quarter for good that I no longer felt Sebastian's presence or eyes upon me.

~ ~ ~

The Lower City had never seemed more welcoming. As my feet connected with the platform of the subway in the Lower City, a smile crossed my face. Twilight had come down on this part of Meridian, making everything seem a little less real and more like a dream to me. I had never bothered to look at the iron gates before as I walked under them, heading into the crowded open market. But now I did, and this time instead of finding them dull and ugly to look at, I found them to be nothing less than stunning. Walking down the cobblestone streets, holding my suitcase close, I breathed in deeply. The air here was not as polluted as the Industrial Quarter was; I could smell familiar scents that had once filled my younger life. Passing by the local smithy, I felt my feet begin to pick up the pace a bit faster. I wanted to get home. I wanted to go back to the place that was –

I came to a sudden stop, bumping into an older man in front of me. Muttering an apology quickly, not looking at him, I stepped out of the main flow of traffic and leaned up against the wall of the smithies. Inside I could hear the hammer pounding down on the metal, the hiss of steam escaping the forges, and it jarred me into thinking. What did I have to go home to? My mother was no longer there. Did any of the neighbours think I was truly dead? How much would it surprise them to know that I wasn't?

"When you get to that bridge Ria, then you can deal with it." I told myself, trying to calm my nerves. Pushing off the wall, listening to the loud rhythm of the hammer pounding against the anvil, I continued to walk, but this time with less speed than before. My feet led me home, down the many roads and side streets, over bridges that looked down at the canals and pass shops that I use to buy from. My eyes were fastened to the cobblestones, gazing at people's feet as they marched past me. And then as my own feet stopped at the end of a small road, instinct having taken over, I looked up and saw my home.

One of the many townhouses in the Lower City, with a drooping tiled roof and warped wooden steps, it seemed like an unwelcoming place. But for me it was home. The door was ajar, and there was no light coming from within. Why would there be, my mother was dead! The windows of the townhouse no longer had any curtains and the glass panes seemed to look at me with contempt, as if saying that the wayward child had come home, only too late. There were lights in the other townhouses, curtains hiding what went on indoors. My neighbours, if they had gone to their doors or windows, would have seen me walk up the steps to what had once been my home. Perhaps they would have taken me as a ghost or a distant memory in their minds. But no one came to his or her doors or windows, and I walked into my home without any fanfare.

Inside, everything was deathly still. As I crossed over the threshold and into the main hall, my feet making light impressions in the dust on the floor, I went from room to room to see if anything had changed since my mother had passed. Everything had changed. The furniture was gone, either taken by my late mother's friends or by thieves. I hoped that it had been friends that had taken the meagre valuables that my mother had owned. It would be more bearable than knowing some common thief owned them now. I climbed up the stairs to the second floor, the floorboards creaking under my weight. As I reached the landing, I was not surprised to find that anything of importance or value up here had been taken as well. My mother's room, located at the back of the house, was as empty as the day she and my father had moved in, or so I thought. I could see an imprint on the floorboards where her bed had once rested, the wood underneath not as worn with feet having never walked across it. 

In my small room, located at the front of the house and with a small window that looked out onto the street below, only my lumpy mattress remained. "Take the bed frame but not the mattress," I muttered in disgust. Setting my suitcase down, I pulled the mattress over to the wall and sat down on it. My feet were tired from all that walking and at this moment, it felt good to ever sit down on a mattress that was full of lumps and hard springs. Kicking off my shoes I gave a content sigh, gazing at the white plaster walls, tracing a finger over the spider web cracks that had come and grown as the house had aged. There were stains on the walls where once pictures had been hung and dust balls on the floor that rolled around aimlessly. The effect was depressing. Sighing, I leaned my head up against the wall and closed my eyes, the shadows in the room growing longer and longer, making me want to doze. I nearly did sleep, but a voice from the other side of the wall caused me to start and wake. Pressing my ear up against the thin plaster, I could make out two women talking. It sounded like Frieda and Lizzie, old friends of my mother.

"Such a shame," I heard Lizzie sigh deeply. "It should always be that the parents go before the children, never the other way around."

Something scraped the floor, a chair being moved. "But at least now Melissa will see Ria again. I believe that was what made her heart fail, in those last few days." Frieda, no mistake about that. Her voice was almost as deep as a man's, and just as powerful. "That grave does seem lonely all by itself. Melissa lost her husband to the sea and there was no body to bury, and now the same thing has happened with her daughter. The woman did not lead a charmed life, Lizzie." 

"I still say the priest is a dolt. We could at least place a marker for Ria," Lizzie spoke with conviction, "so that even if her body is never found, then at least her soul might rest a little better knowing that some people remember her by a gravestone."

"It's the way with the church. No body, no grave. No grave, no gravestone. Pass me the tea, Lizzie." There was a long pause between the two women, and in that time it gave me a chance to go over their words. At least they wanted to remember me by a tombstone, I thought. But how would they react to know that I am alive and not dead?

"Whatever do you think happened to Ria? She was always such a sweet child, Frieda, one that you would think nothing wrong could happen to her."

Frieda's voice dropped down into a low whisper, almost too quiet for me to hear at first. "I believe Lizzie, and not that it does any good to say bad things about the dead, that Ria just fell into bad luck."

"Like what?"

"Well, there are many men out there who like to look at pretty girls," Frieda uttered with disgust. "And you know how some of them can..." She shifted in her chair, but that alone spoke more than the words Frieda could ever have said. Lizzie gave a gasp; I imagined that on her wizened face she had clamped a hand over her mouth. It would be just like her. "And then the body is disposed of elsewhere," Frieda continued, "down to the Slums or the wharves."

I bowed my head, my hands balled tightly. Frieda had no idea just how right she was, but at the same time she was still very wrong. "Did you ever say such a thing to Melissa?" The way Lizzie made the question sound, it was as if she knew full well that Frieda would do something like that to my mother, tell her one of the possible situations. Suddenly I was disgusted. Turning away from the wall, no longer wanting to listen in on their muted conversation, I lay back on the mattress and looked up at the ceiling.

And then it hit me.

My mother was truly dead. This house was no longer hers and it would never be mine. Her neighbours – not mine – were firmly rooted in their belief that I was dead. Everyone thought me to be dead. I could never come back here, never make a life for myself here anymore. But then I would not want to. This house was full of memories, more good than bad, but if I was to life next to neighbours who were nothing more than ugly gossips, people who were no better than thieves...

I didn't bother to finish the thought. Closing my eyes and muffling my sniffling in the sleeves of my dress, I finally went off into a fitful sleep. 

I dreamed that night; it wasn't a nightmare but at the same time it wasn't one of those dreams that you wish to remember. I was in a forest, the trees all-dead and the leaves collecting about my feet. I was standing on grey dirt road that was covered in a light mist, the only light coming from the moon high above. Looking behind me I saw that the path stretched so far back that I could not even see where it had begun. And ahead, the pathway split off in two different directions. Squinting my eyes, I tried to peer through the mist to see what lay along either of the paths, but could see nothing. It was clear to me that if I wanted to find out what lay beyond, then I would have to start walking. 

But which one? 

There were two paths, and I had the feeling that if I chose one of the two, then I would have to continue walking that path, even if at the end I did not like what I saw. I would not be allowed to turn back to see what the other one held, left only to wonder and maybe regret. Before I could chose the right split or the left, the dream ended and I awoke.

It was early morning, and I was laying half-on, half-off of the mattress. Groaning as my sore muscles protested to me moving, I stood slowly and wiped the sleep from my eyes. Stumbling towards the washroom and turning on the faucet, I splashed lukewarm water in my face to help me wake up. Staring into the cracked mirror, the one thing in the house that, surprisingly, no one had bothered to take, the Ria staring back at me seemed different. 

It was as if she had aged in the short time that she had been away from home. Like a person starting out on a journey: at the beginning they go away with one idea and when they return, they come back with more than they had started out with. From the murky depths of half-sleep my dream rose up again. I shook my head, making it vanish again.

"Time to get moving," I told myself. "To see mother's grave."

My dress was rumpled and lined from being slept in, and I quickly took it off and replaced it with another one from the many that Lutee had packed me. As the simple maroon gown covered my body, the material feeling lovely over my skin, I realized that it would look out of place with the cotton and wool that the women in the Lower City wore, that I had once worn and loved. Perhaps I had changed more than I would ever realize. I was no longer meant for the Lower City.

Hurriedly I placed my shoes back on and grabbed my suitcase. Walking down the creaking staircase and out the front door, I gave one last look to the place that had been my home. Perhaps some other people would move in here, a large family with more than enough children. Or maybe a single person would come to live here and in time start a life with someone else. Either way, the neighbours would soon forget that a girl called Ria had once lived her life here and had come into a set of problems that others would have found perhaps, in my shoes, to be overwhelming. 

I started walking.

As the sun came up over the rooftops of the Lower City, the shadows slipping away until night came around again, storefronts opened and people began to move around, ready to start their lives over again. I stopped by a flower vendor, or vendors I should say. Two children who couldn't have been much older than twelve were running the shop for their mother, who as they explained, was at home at the moment with their new sibling. 

"Ma'am," the young boy spoke up as he swung his legs back and forth on the stool from which he sat, "who are the flowers for?"

"Shush, be quiet! Mama says you never ask a customer that," his sister answered, waving her arms around while trying to act like he hadn't said anything at all. "It's personal, personal! You don't ask someone about their lives unless they want to give something out." She turned back towards me with an exaggerated look. "Don't mind my brother. He's just stupid."

I couldn't help but laugh at this display of sibling affection. After choosing a small bouquet of yellow tulips, the colour that my mother loved the most, I handed the money over to the young boy and answered his question. "They are for my mother."

"Oh, my mom likes tulips as well," he offered. "Have a nice day then, lady!" He gave me a friendly wave as I walked away from the flower cart. My mood, which had been dark, improved after meeting the children. I wondered then, quickly, if the vampires would ever attack them that Meridian held. And I hoped that they would not.

The graveyard of the Lower City is shared with the people of the Slums. Both quarters come to bury their dead here. I do not know about the Upper City's graveyard, but knowing the nobles they had their own special crypts to house the remains of their family, elaborate tombs and coffins that no one here could ever hope to afford. My mother's tombstone was not elaborate, but at the same time it was not simple either. Near the far north end of the graveyard, under the shade of a weeping willow, the white marker showed where my mother had been buried. Her name was carved out in a simple yet fine script and showed her date of birth and death.

I was alone in the graveyard as I knelt by the tombstone, placing the flowers at the base of the grave. "Mother, it's Ria. I guess you have figured it out by now. I'm not dead." Perhaps it was silly talking to a gravestone, but for me this would be the last time I would ever say goodbye to my mother. "I guess you really want to know what has happened, so I'll tell you. Just to let you know, it was not easy for me." And so I told my mother exactly what had happened, from the day that I had not returned home from work, about Sebastian, Lutee, my escape only to be caught again, and then finally how I was set free. I told her how Sebastian had treated me.

As I spoke it was as if there had been a weight lifted on my shoulders. It was comforting. I felt as if my mother finally understood, and that if in any way she had been clinging to this world until she had heard the truth from me, she was gone now. Not once did I cry as I told my tale; it all came matter-of-factly. She was at peace, but more importantly, I was. 

Now it was done. I stood, wiping the dirt from my dress. Now what to do, that was the question that loomed in my mind. I had no life left in the Lower City. People I had once known, or thought I had once known, were gone now. I had no friends in Meridian; I was free to go where I pleased and when I wished. Nothing was keeping me down here anymore. But something is, I heard a voice whisper, a voice that sounded like my mother's.

And I knew it was Sebastian. He had let me go and how much must that of hurt him? He said that he was possessive over me; the way Sebastian treated me that much was obvious. That I was an unwilling lover, which was a fact. He had hurt me, but by the same token he had also made sure that the wounds he had given me were healed. Sebastian had even gone to great lengths to try and ease the pain he had given me inside, to no avail. The 'monster' had tried to show another side of himself to me, one that I was sure he never let anyone else see. And what had I done? Lashed out. Yet, Sebastian had let me go. The thoughts whirled around in my head like a windstorm; I couldn't make any sense of them or what I was feeling.

Then the dream that I had had last night made perfect sense to me. Why did I not think of it before? I could choose my path, right here and now without being pressured to do something I might feel sorry for later. On the one hand, I had the choice to leave Meridian forever and start my life somewhere else. But on the other hand, I could stay and return to Sebastian, perhaps see if anything could become better. Nodding to myself, and looking once more at the grave of my mother, I knew I had made my choice.

I began to walk back to the subway. From there, I could go back to the Industrial Quarter.


End file.
